Relationships Are The Mirror In Which We See Ourselves

Relationships Are The Mirror In Which We See Ourselves

Last update: 28 July, 2016

We are inevitably interested and affected by the world of human relations and we cannot remain indifferent to this fact. We are learning to discover who we are through the eyes of others, and every person we meet during the course of our lives can bring us something different.

Are you open to the possibility that anyone can bring something important to your life? Depending on our openness, this will be more or less true. It is important to recognize that each person has this potential in our lives, just as we do in the lives of others. Being aware of this possibility and taking advantage of it is the responsibility of each individual person.

“The encounter of two people is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”

-Carl Gustav Jung-

Relationships as a learning opportunity

Every relationship we experience is potentially important. Any encounter that we have can make us discover many things about ourselves. Whether in our romantic relationships, with family, with our friends, casual relationships and working relationships. Any kind of relationship can have an impact on us.

Every relationship becomes an opportunity to see how we react to others; how we communicate, how we feel, what makes us upset; what behaviors we like, what produces rage and anger, etc.


When we put the focus on the other person with respect to how we feel, we are losing a valuable perspective. It is not the other person who has created this emotion in me, but rather it is I who has reacted to his behavior. I can investigate and see where it comes from as an opportunity to see what this has to do with in my life.

We must be very aware that it is not the other person who causes anger, discomfort or sadness in me, nor do they generate my happiness, joy or enthusiasm. The entire repertoire of emotions, whether pleasant or unpleasant, are generated from our own thoughts and beliefs. They are answers that we issue regarding our experience and belief system.

The relationship as a mirror of myself

There are many feelings, desires, intentions that for certain reasons make us feel ashamed and that we fully reject. They are parts of us that we are not willing to see; and to defend ourselves against this we use projection. We project onto others what we are not willing to see in ourselves.

“Everything that irritates us about others leads to an understanding of ourselves.”

-Carl Gustav Jung-

We have emotional reactions that activate this projection, and they can be both positive and negative. When it is positive, you project onto the other person a quality that you like about yourself, that you value and appreciate, of which you may be unaware. When it is negative, you project something that you reject, a part of you that you do not like and do everything possible to avoid seeing in yourself. This creates an internal conflict that interferes with relationships.

The interesting thing about recognizing our projections is to see how our attitudes and perceptions towards people and the world around us are essentially the rejected ideas that we harbor towards ourselves.

relationship rejection

Your relationships say a lot about who you are

Where we least expect to find it, it ends up that anyone can provide us with a great love, beautiful companionship and important teachings. We become demanding as we wait for this to come to us from outside, however, it is an internal matter. All that is significant for our lives appears when we are in a position to host it.

Integrity, strength and stability cannot be given to us by anyone, and it is not fair that we put this responsibility on others. All this comes from within, and is facilitated through the relationships we have.

“Often it happens that the very people with whom we have a relationship are better than anyone who can encourage us to put all our resources into play. As frustrating as they are, perhaps they are just what we need: the ‘least suited’ person is usually our best teacher. “

-Elisabeth Kubler-Ross-

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This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.