What Prevents Us From Finding Lasting Love?

What Prevents Us From Finding Lasting Love?

Last update: 04 March, 2017

A healthy relationship can improve many aspects of life including emotional, mental, and physical well-being. In general, relationships can help us achieve happiness. For many, however, finding someone to share lasting love and life with may seem like an impossible task.

Life as a single person offers many rewards, including learning how to build a healthy relationship with oneself. However, life as a single person can also be very frustrating.

Establishing healthy relationships is essential

One of the reasons that may explain why some people find it difficult to find a lasting partner is the concept of a relationship. It is therefore important to consider what a healthy relationship is.

According to the University of Washington, a healthy relationship takes place when two people develop a connection based on mutual respect, trust, honesty, support, equity and equality between the two, maintaining separate identities, good communication and feelings of joy and affection.

Difficulty finding a partner

Finding a life partner is often a difficult journey for several reasons:

  • For some people it is a problem of previous models, since in their childhood they had no reference of a healthy relationship between their parents.
  • For others, the difficulty is having had brief relationships full of ups and downs that were very of little interest for one of the two or both.
  • In other cases, the difficulty is due to an unresolved problem in the past that makes a person feel attracted to the wrong kind of person.
  • It can also be the case of not being in the best environment to find the right person.
  • In some cases the problem is a matter of self-esteem and confidence, whose absence causes some people to have trouble relating to the people they are attracted in order to approach them.

Whatever the case may be, it is important to analyze what happens in order to be able to fix it as much as possible.

Moreover, it is also important to recognize that relationships are never perfect and always require hard work, commitment and the strength of will to resolve conflicts that may arise in a positive manner.

Myths about love

To find and build any worthwhile relationship it may be necessary to start evaluating some of their misconceptions and myths about relationships that may prevent them from finding a partner and establishing a healthy and lasting relationship.

1. It is better to have a bad relationship than no relationship at all

Deep down, most people think that, as the saying goes, it is better to be alone than in bad company. However the truth is that many people feel they need to be with someone even if that relationship is not good.

But it really is possible to be happy without a partner, and it is not a social stigma to be single, nor does it have anything to do with any sort of disability or a way of being licentious or irresponsible.

2. Love at first sight is really worth it

For those who have a history based on failed relationships, they should know that one thing has nothing to do with the other. Instant sexual attraction and lasting love have nothing to do with one another. Sometimes it succeeds and often is nothing more than a whim which has nothing to do with creating the bond needed to establish a healthy and lasting relationship.

In general, any relationship can deepen with time, and lifelong friends may end up as a couple, as people who felt an urge just to know one another.

3. Women have different emotions than men

Women and men feel similar things, but sometimes express their feelings differently, especially because they are influenced by social conventions. For men and women, the basic emotions of sadness, anger, fear and joy they experience are the same. Leaning on this myth to explain the failure of relationships is unfounded.

4. Physical attraction disappears with time

Love does not remain static, but that does not mean that physical attraction is doomed to disappear over time. As we age, both men and women have less sex hormones, but emotion often influences passion more than hormones, and sexual passion can become stronger with time.

5. It’s possible to change something we do not like about our partner

You cannot change anyone. People only change when they want to change voluntarily. If there is something we do not like about someone, it’s better to accept it or look elsewhere because if we insist on molding them to our liking completely, it is going to be very difficult for the relationship to flourish in a healthy way.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.