Practice Self-Love in Order to Be Happy
It’s almost always the same story. We’re always more worried about what others want, our obligations and commitments than about our own desires. And what’s the result? Disenchantment. We survive more than we truly live. We have neglected our self-love. As a consequence we lose our dreams and disconnect from ourselves. With the “have to’s” and “shoulds”, we close our access to that level of our inner world.
When someone neglects themselves for a long time, they end up waking up one day thinking that their life is far from what they wanted it to be. It tends to take you to a place where you feel like a stranger in your own life.
“Don’t waste your time, because that’s the matter that life is made out of.”
-Benjamin Franklin-
The trap of conformity
Many of us are good examples of that great personal deficit, of being non-selfish, that has invaded a big part of our society. A progressive change that harms us more than it is beneficial. But, most of the time we have to pretend like it is okay in front of others and to ourselves, through conformity.
The creativity of childhood and the passion of adolescence is lost. It turns off the light that made us shine up until that moment. With simply looking around you, you can observe how people dedicate their lives to jobs they don’t love or even enjoy. They conform into their relationships and toss away their dreams, because they seem to require too much effort to reach. Even bordering on the impossible.
Dreams disappears, because we conform and our growth stops. The comfort zone is too pleasant to withstand fears, frustrations and uncertainties. We opt for plan B: the simple life, that which simply crosses your pass, and which makes you lose your current course of flight. Completely lacking in self-love.
We stay under the spell of thinking that it’s always best to take care of what’s outside than to listen to what your inner world needs. This keeps us dependent on the acceptance of others.
You aren’t selfish, you are taking care of yourself
Every once in a while it’s beneficial to perform an emotional checkup. We should ask ourselves how we feel in regards to our lives in general, with our career, and relationships. This will provide us with clues about our well-being.
When the results are feelings of disappointment and disenchantment, it is very likely that we have been living our lives as secondary actors or actresses. We have to dedicate more time to ourselves. Yet, there’s a question that makes us uneasy: Am I being selfish?
Are we being selfish when we go out and seek that which we need and is good for us? Let me tell you, no. You’re simply taking care of yourself. The only love that lasts forever is self-love. Hence, if you don’t worry about maintaining it, who will? It’s not good to settle for less.
Nobody is selfish for waking up and saying “no” or “enough”, or for saving some minutes for themselves, for not being 100% available to the demands of their surroundings. It’s no big deal if you stop being the one who is always there for everyone. It’s better late than never.
Invest in yourself, don’t forget yourself!
You might have become an expert in knowing what your parents, your partner or your friends want from you. The problem is that you haven’t stopped to think about what you want from yourself. But knowing this is as vital as breathing, because it has repercussions on your self-esteem and emotional well-being.