Now that We’re Drawing the Beginning of Our Story

August 9, 2018

Now that our hands make contact, almost without wanting to, and sparks fly every time we touch each other. Now that we put smiles on each other’s faces and our gazes meet without ever getting enough. Now that we have a book with blank pages… Now our story starts.

Our voices still sound a little timid in order to avoid our words being different from what we think. Our feet hardly take a step in order to avoid falling into disillusion and to avoid seeing the bitter truth again. I know that this is the beginning of our story. It’s enough to want to be close to each other and spend time together. It’s enough to see each other in silence and let our emotions carry us away.

The beginning of a story

It might be that you’re thinking of me right now, without even knowing what to say to me or if you should even say anything at all. I know that we don’t know each other enough for you to know that I’ve been spending all night thinking of you. Wondering what you’re like, drawing you as I imagine you, thinking about the things you like, and believing it’s a nice beginning. It’s something that starts slowly due to fear of failing since we failed so many times before.

It’s now that I begin to shake when I know I’m about to see you. It’s now when I lower my gaze and blush when you compliment me. I have controlled every detail just to bring out only the best of me. Now is the beginning of a story. It’s the beginning of a memory.

“That love is all there is, is all we know of love.”

-Emily Dickinson-

A couple walking together hand in hand.

Now that we look at each other so slowly

You and I are two blank pages. An entire book to be written. An empty space to be filled. What we begin today will tomorrow be a part of our past. But it will always keep on being our beginning. That beginning that both of us made and, in a certain way, can only be filled with “nows”. It can only be filled with present moments.

I don’t know what might happen tomorrow, but I also don’t care. I prefer to focus on the present and enjoy this beautiful thing we have. My eyes don’t allow me to see further than what I have in front of me. My hopes and desires disempower my fears. And, why not this time? Why can’t this beginning be the one that’s written without an ending? It’s my today, my present, and I choose how I want it to be.

“Now nothing is sacred and the dead horse is beaten still. And now that the world has just been painted… Now that the storms are so short…. Now that, without knowing how, we know how to love each other without loving each other yet. Now that eyes touch and mouths watch. Now that nothing is urgent and everything is in the present. Now that all of the stories seem like stories that never even started.”

-Joaquín Sabina-

A couple in love.

The beginning of our story

With you, everything seems new and surprising. Things have a different light and a different meaning. The butterflies I feel when we’re together reveal my feelings. They push me to become better and to start something new with you. I know that it’s never too late to try again, to try and risk it all to make something new. That’s why I let myself get carried away by this new beginning of our story.

I don’t care about what might come. We’ll face it. I don’t care what path awaits us. I want to take a risk to discover everything that awaits. This is the beginning of something new and I want to enjoy it. It’s the today that I had been waiting for. And I make it mine. We make it ours. It’s the start that I had wanted, the blank page upon where I’ll write again. That today that we make ours. The words and the smiles we give each other. Now is the time. Let’s enjoy it.

“I love like love loves. I don’t know any other reason for loving than to love you. What do you want me to tell you aside from ‘I love you’, if what I want to say is that I love you?”

-Fernando Pessoa-