You Neither Move Forward Nor Backwards: You’re Stuck

There are moments in life we feel intense bewilderment. They are not necessarily “bad times,” nor is it that you experience great suffering or serious problems. Rather, you simply see the days go by and you feel, deep inside you, that you’re not evolving or growing.

The dominant note is the routine. Every day is very similar to the previous one and although you do not have to go through major upheavals, you don’t manage to really get excited with anything. You don’t have a way of activating your life force, nor you don’t feel like trying.

You have even managed to get used to the problems before they even started to bother you. If you are in a mediocre or harmful relationship, you stop trying to be better. If your work does not satisfy you, you resign yourself to the job you have. You neither move backwards or forward: you’re stuck.

Are you stuck? Are you not moving along?

Stagnation results when we cannot get in touch with our feelings and genuine emotions. Hence, you do not feel a real impetus to action, to bring about a change that will enrich you and make living more significant. These are the signs that indicate that you are stuck:

• You do not feel enthusiasm. You do everything mechanically and try not to think much about it. You do not want to complicate things.
• You do not want to commit to anything. You simply comply with what is asked of you, both at work, and on a personal level. But you do not want to get too involved.
• You avoid challenges. When faced with a potential challenge or a novelty, you step aside. You’re not interested in putting yourself to the test, nor do you see the sense in it.
• You feel fatigue almost all the time. One of your favorite sayings is “I’m tired”. And it’s true, physically you feel that you are lacking energy. Your body feels heavy and you easily fall into drowsiness.
• Your routine is too structured. You do almost everything, every day, in the same way. The same hours, the same route, the same conversations.
• You reject everything new. Any novelties seem to bring you unnecessary discomfort. You do not want to invest your effort to adapt to something you don’t know about.
• You constantly feel lazy and bored. You yawn a lot and hope that they “leave you alone” and that nothing requires you to move. Almost everything bores you, but what bores you the most is thinking about a change.
• You justify your attitude, even with lies.  You build up a series of false “reasons” to support your inactivity and fear of change. You make excuses to justify your stagnation.

If you do not advance, go back

When you go through one of those periods of stagnation, surely there is a tinge of sadness, or anger, or both, behind the situation. The fact that you’re stuck means that although you do not realize it, there is an issue that needs to be resolved in your life.

Covert depression is like a small animal that constantly gnaws at you and steals vital energy. It is a dull hum that has a great weight on the perception of everyday life. As if a gray veil was put on your reality and you contemplate everything through that distortion of color. Nothing will seem interesting enough because you are not looking at it directly.

Anger, in turn, is one of the most crippling emotions. When it is entrenched within you, it operates by corroding other emotions. Repressed anger makes you stiff, sarcastic and negative. It brings you to feel a kind of contempt for everything around you and contributes to not having anything to wake your interest. It undermines your relationships with other people and affects your health in the long-term.

The same applies to blame, which sometimes settles in your unconscious. When you didn’t do or say it, or when you did it and said it, it will generate regret and you escape this reality. It is likely that the price is the pale of your emotions and your will to live.

The stages of stagnation should be treated with care. Sometimes they only require a process of awareness and a rethinking of the conditions in which they are lived. Other times, however, they are a sign that a crisis is starting to break out.

So when you feel like you cannot move forward, it is best that you go back. You are tied to some situation from the past that has not been entirely overcome and is still affecting your present. It is true that life is not a rose garden, nor is it a party every day. But on the other hand, it is actually the only and most valuable thing you have.

Living without living is not an option. The time of existence is too short to waste on useless routines and unsatisfying relationships. Your peace and happiness are the only true reasons why you should go for the plunge. The stillness must be left for the dead.

Images courtesy of Christian Schloe