Negative People: 5 Characteristic Features
It would be unfair to claim that any person is inherently negative. All human beings have value, and we can’t label anybody as negative per se. When we say, “negative people,” what we are talking about their focus, not the people themselves.
It’s also good to clarify that there is nothing completely consistent about a human being, especially at an emotional level. Therefore, no person is 100% negative or 100% positive. Both of these aspects are in of each of us. What does happen is that each person decides whether to emphasize the positive or the negative perspective.
“We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell”.
-Oscar Wilde-
Today we’ll try to expose some of the main characteristics that make someone negative. The primary victim of this attitude is actually the very person who acts this way. That’s why it is worth taking a second to see if we are falling into this attitude, because we could gain a lot if we changed our approach. So let’s look at the 5 most basic attitudes of negative people.
1. Trying to take on the impossible, a very negative perspective
Life is full of impossible things, but some people are not willing to accept it. That frustration is part of life: we don’t always get what we want.
Perhaps we would have preferred to have been born to millionaires or have had understanding parents. But there’s nothing we can do about it. And if we long for things that didn’t happen the way we wanted, it will only give us bitterness and pain.
The same thing happens when we set impossible goals for ourselves. For example, if we try to look young when we’re not, or if we try to get someone to act like we think they should.
Impossible objectives only bring about frustration, discontentment, and suffering. These are emotions that feed a negative attitude.
2. Giving up when we come to a roadblock
Just like how it doesn’t make sense to set impossible goals, it also doesn’t make any sense to give up when we try to achieve something but then run into obstacles. Don’t forget that anything worth achieving will take effort. Achievement so often requires perseverance.
Many times in life we are tempted to give up. But giving up is not an option when we are facing goals that we CAN achieve, even if they’re hard. Psychologist Hillary White notes that giving up will make the person feel defeated. No matter how it ends, facing difficulties increases confidence.
3. Taking things too seriously
When we don’t have enough self-love and maturity, our ego is very sensitive. We won’t be able to tolerate embarrassment and we’ll be terrified of making a fool out of ourselves. Nor will we take criticism well, even if it’s true and could really help us.
Taking things too seriously only increases negativity, both towards others and yourself. It takes humility not to take those little social blunders so seriously. Making a fool of yourself or making a mistake is only a problem if we give the situations more importance than they deserve.
4. Complaining is a way of life for negative people
We all complain sometimes. The problem is when complaining becomes a way of life. Here, our vision becomes cloudy and we see everything negatively. There are no other possibilities. We focus on our problems and things we don’t have or can’t do.
Then we adopt a whole negative existential position to life. Actually, this is a strategy negative people use to justify their lack of progress.
Complaining becomes a blank check to avoid growing, to avoid committing to goals and self-improvement.
5. Comparing and being hostile to others
Always comparing yourself to others is a very negative thing. It implies a lack of autonomy and personal identity.
By making comparisons, a person judges what they do by looking at what others do. It’s an unfair and frustrating experience that only leads to constant confrontation and dissatisfaction.
The worst thing is that a person who makes comparisons usually is trying to put others down as a means of lifting themselves up. In other words, they’re happy when bad things happen to others because it puts others in a state of need or error and them in a superior position.
As you can see, seeing life negatively only leads to never-ending dissatisfaction that prevents progress and hinders any positive relationships. It’s a vicious circle that goes nowhere.
If you see these negative attitudes in yourself, don’t wait: work on changing them starting right now. Having a negative outlook does you no good. Sooner or later, you’ll end up losing yourself.