In Love, I Want Wings to Fly and Roots to Grow
In any relationship we must try to create an adequate balance between what’s mine and what’s yours, be it a romantic relationship, one with your children, or even in a friendship.
It seems like a pretty complex process. But in reality, the magic of every healthy and integral human relationship is based on respect and providing the best for the other person, while at the same time taking care of ourselves.
Offering wings for them to fly is to allow that loved one to choose their own spaces, cultivate their hobbies and develop themselves every day in order to reach their personal fulfillment. If that person is happy with themselves, they will pass that positive energy on to you. We create together, respecting each other’s spaces and necessities, while we also take root.
Taking root in our relationships in no way means to “master” or “control.” To nurture our roots is to cultivate daily affection, respect and love to create a single unit. This is what unites us, it’s the roots that we created together and which, in turn, help us grow to be two souls within one body.
Wings to fly and roots to grow in our relationships
Let’s start off by talking about romantic relationships. And we invite you to do a simple reflection. In the relationship you have now, or that you were in in the past, were you able to evolve as a person? Did you share bonds that offered you freedom as well as protection and support?
If not, if the relationship isn’t capable of evolving over time as your needs change; the roots will weaken. Personal frustration will appear, a negative feeling that will not only end up being reflected upon yourself, but on occasion, also upon your partner.
In these cases, we’re referring to “disharmonious growth.” Here, only the needs of one person have been prioritized, or the relationship itself has remained motionless. It has tried to grow roots by thinking only about the relationship itself and not about the personal growth of the individuals.
For example, we begin a relationship full of emotions, of intense passion. We focus so much on each other, that we leave all other friendships behind. To the point that we both dislike coming out of that circle of intimacy that we’ve created.
Over time, these relationships become black holes that feed off themselves until they self-destruct.
It’s very important that we keep these dimensions in mind in order to maintain an adequate balance:
1. Personal Growth
- I must be conscious of myself, the here and now, and of what I need.
- I am responsible for my own personal growth.
- I must be enriched by everything that surrounds me, by my everyday experiences, by conversations, journeys, readings, by everything life has to offer me, including my partner.
2. Growth of the relationship
- My personal growth affects the growth of the relationship itself. If I am happy and satisfied with what I am and have, I’ll give all of these positive emotions to the person I love.
- We must keep a continuous dialogue about our growth, because every couple needs to renovate their bonds as time passes and new situations arise (the birth of children, changes, or the loss of a job).
- We should keep a balance between the individual and common goals, offering mutual help to each other, making our roots grow as we also offer each other wings.
Wings to fly and roots to grow in the raising of children
In order to raise happy children, offer them wings to fly, roots to come back to you and the security that they’ll always have you by their side every step of their way towards becoming responsible and independent people.
We often talk about the need to avoid attachments in order to be able to enjoy emotional freedom. And it’s true that there are some toxic attachments that make us cling to things in such a way that they end up dominating us. But, it’s important to understand that attachments are also a part of our own roots.
We’re referring to those healthy attachments that children establish to their families in order to create bonds. And bonds generate security if we fill them with air, life and confidence so they may open their wings and fly off to wherever they choose.
Wherever their hearts and desires lead them, knowing always that they count on their roots, offers them an origin and an eternal shelter. There lies the magic of the balance, in offering a love that makes them fly while they also grow.