5 Steps to Start a Relationship Off on the Right Foot

· November 11, 2015

A stable relationship is supported by certain pillars formed by both members of the couple. These pillars are established when both partners decide to live as a couple with an agreed foundation.

So that they are durable and provide the stability desired, the couple should dedicate an appropriate amount of time to establishing them. Otherwise, they may be unilaterally imposed by one partner without addressing the needs and thoughts of the other.

However, long before establishing those pillars together, before being “we,” each person should individually show the other their own values and individuality.

The beginning of a relationship is very important because it is when we can show ourselves to the other person so that we can later establish those pillars together with them. And for that, you should consider the following recommendations:

 1. Before being lovers, be friends

It is extremely important to have a friend in your partner or future partner. The very best way of knowing if your personalities will complement one another and if you can be a good, stable couple is to first be friends.

Friendship is a relationship based on sincerity, trust, and communication, in which we can present ourselves how we are instead of how the person wants us to be, expects us to be, or demands us to be.


 2. Let the relationship unfold naturally

Don’t force the relationship. That is to say, enjoy the present without impatiently worrying and wondering about how things will be between you in the future.

There is no better way to do this than to spontaneously and naturally enjoy the feelings, attitudes, emotions, and surprises that accumulate between two people.

Man and woman embracing

 3. Give yourself attention and respect

Starting a new relationship does not mean you have to lose your individuality! Strive to cultivate your own interests, wishes, and goals; and if all goes well, they will eventually form part of a more complex project…a couple.

To do this, we must not leave ourselves to one side to focus on the other person in the relationship, because this would not demonstrate a sufficient level of self-respect for a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

From the very beginning of a relationship, don’t be afraid to show the other person who you are: your desires, thoughts, and emotions.

Further, mutual respect should be present in any relationship, from the beginning of the relationship.

 4. Observe, get to know, and respect the other person

It is important to get to know the other person’s values, feelings, and emotions, as well as their attitudes and mannerisms both with us and with the people around them.

Knowing the other person well helps us to respect their values and outlook on life, and to accept them as they really are instead of feeding into an erroneous, toxic idea of how we thought they would be or how we want them to be.

With this, we can begin to judge whether or not we easily complement or coincide with each other so that later we can formulate the pillars of our relationship.

5. Don’t rush labeling the relationship

And, last but definitely not least – after taking the time to become friends, to get to know each other on a profound level, to observe your own feelings as well as those of the other individual, we may choose together to put a label on our relationship, calling ourselves a “couple” and knowing that the feelings that bring us together are love and affection.

When we have reached this stage, we are also in a position to start establishing the pillars of a relationship, one which is born of the union of two different, individual people that complement each other in their values, attitudes, and approach to life who further decide to share their goals and join forces to assure that life will bring them happiness.