To Be in Love Is to Give Yourself, to Simply Love Is to Desire

That word surrounds my soul when I hear your name: love. A word that I do not use with just any person, let alone when referring to my feelings. Because it is true that I cannot say I love you nor can I say that I desire you either. Loving and being in love are not the same…

Although light fills my soul every time I think about it, I cannot tell you that I miss you every moment, every day… In every corner I thought you would still be there, waiting for me like you once did.

The number of stars in the sky is less than the number of times I would have died to kiss you, hug you and feel you by my side. And now I cannot stop thinking about the fact of you being with other people.

“We learn to love not when we find the perfect person, but when we see an imperfect person as perfect.”

-Sam Keen-

Each time I kiss other lips your scent intoxicates me again

Could it be that I need you? I can’t answer that question yet. All I know is that when we’re together I feel like I’m the happiest person in the universe.

The months go by but your memory keeps coming back to me. I think that a call might be you, or remember your beautiful smile and your sweet gaze every time you looked at me.

Because when I’m kissing other lips your scent still intoxicates me again, as I remember your gestures, your words and even your silence…

I’m not lying when I say that you are and will be a part of me, always. You form a part of my essence because you showed me the most wonderful part of life. That place where heaven and earth unite to enjoy the most beautiful part of humanity: the eternal memory…

Many times I wondered if…

I wonder if what we had, you and I, was true love. And to me it becomes clearer and clearer that it was never love, but it was part of something wonderful.

Something which no words can describe and only the brave dare to name. Because as far as my feelings towards you are concerned, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t care.

Because I would also be hiding my eternal emotions from you if I told you that every night I did not think of your warm kisses and you gently touching my hair. I’ve already erased your phone number many times to try and forget about you and move on.

But none of that works because, although I do not want to, I still remember everything that has to do with your world, which was once ours, and your heart.

Love is built every day

The truth is, everything that has to do with you just simply “happens.” It happens and it is real because love is built every day with times like these that last years and lifetimes. Because the warmest emotions come to light and they happen…they have truth and consequence in my reality.

It is true that my feelings, as you could sense, are unclear because they fade, but come back again like shooting stars. They are full of doubt and maybe even too many expectations for illusions full of love.

I blame them on immaturity and my lack of experience, not knowing what I wanted, and even not being able to value you the way you deserved. But what is true, and what will allow me to see you in my eternity is each of my tears being shed for your heart.

I wouldn’t be lying if I said that my soul remembers everything I once lost because of my being incomplete. But I cannot help but feel that I love you, not that I am in love with you. For being in love is giving yourself, and loving is wanting the other person’s distant heart.

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