I Like Meaningful Relationships

June 19, 2016

I like you because you make my life meaningful. You don’t bother with lies and excuses. You’re never distant or selfish when we spend time together. And that is something that’s hard to find these days.

Let’s talk about meaningful relationships, which include friendships, romantic relationships, and family bonds. In reality, it’s not easy to establish these types of harmonious, balanced relationships where the little things become meaningful.

I like you because you bring me calm in the middle of a storm. Because I know that noble souls are lacking in a world full of hurry and selfishness. You’re like a diamond in the rough, fiercely shining your light on others.

There’s always one, two, or three people who occupy our thoughts in a special way throughout the day. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a romantic partner. Friends can also be significant others, with whom we share our thoughts, experiences, and desires.

We’re all united by very fine golden threads that are inexplicably woven together. These special people take root in our soulseven if we don’t really know why. Regardless, it makes us happy. They accept our values and feelings, and they reciprocate with theirs.

The 4 pillars of meaningful relationships

star map

We tend to build relationships based on not rational but emotional reasons. We get carried away by this inexplicable connection that creates one bond after another.

However, we don’t always succeed in this endeavor. Some people have too many rough edges, too many flaws that turn into needs that must be satisfied, into selfishness…and suddenly we become ships lost at sea, swimming in an ocean of tears.

Life is almost always woven together by coincidences: that coworker who stumbled into you, that university friend who took the same course as you, that friend of a friend who met you at a party…Every day we live through instances where we establish new ties that can become meaningful if these 4 principles are followed:

The first law: Affection

Affection is and always will be the main pillar that sustains authentic relationships, the ones that last a lifetime, the ones that aren’t affected by time or distance. I like you because I know that you care about me, because my affection for you is true. I always want the best for you, just like you want the best for me.

We’re not just talking about romantic relationships. True loveaffection, and looking after and caring for the other person are also essential in friendships and family bonds. The people who love us will truly respect us and recognize us as important people in their lives. We need to feel that affection so we can feel secure, so we can plant our roots in the ground, so we can feel good about ourselves.

butterflies in a field

The second law: See the good in other people

This is essential. You must have dealt with people who only see the negative in you: your faults, your failures, your fears, your insecurities.

When you meet someone who values you in a positive way, accepts your flaws, and pushes you to be a better person every day without judging you, you know that you’ve found a real gem.

You have to keep in mind that in order to be able to see the positive in others, you have to let go of your own prejudices.

Some people see life in a very limited way. They don’t even accept themselves as capable, brave, or happy people. This internal distress causes them to only see other people’s flaws.

The third law: Trust

How many people in your life do you really trust? The only person you should trust blindly is yourself. Beyond that, it is truly enriching to count on daily support from that friend, partner, parent, or sibling who you always have by your side.

People you can trust will always have a positive opinion of you. They know how to listen to you and understand you, and they show you empathy above all else. They know how to work as a team. They take responsibility for their mistakes and point yours out in a constructive way. They believe in your abilities.

The fourth law: A healthy level of attachment

We’re all familiar with attachment, and we know how to differentiate between healthy and unhealthy attachment, but we always end up falling into unbalanced relationships. So it’s important to keep the following basic points in mind to establish positive, meaningful relationships:

Relationships and friendships should allow you to grow, advance, learn, and find your balance. If you notice that you’re always the one who yields to the other, who gives without receiving anything in return, and little by little you stop recognizing yourself, you should really reflect on your situation.

People who base their relationships on healthy attachment respect the other persons’ space, enrich the other person’s life without imposing, and understand that they should give to the other person, not take away from them.

I like you because you turn little, everyday moments into big events that I cherish in my heart, because you fill my life with laughter, collaboration, simplicity, and meaning.

couple on the beach

Images courtesy of Marie Coubert and Pascal Campion