People We Like From The Very First Second, Magical People

You may not recognize the name Dale Carnegie. But this businessman and prolific writer from the 30’s practically began the self-help movement filling up our bookstores now.

One of his all-time best-known and best-selling books was “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” 

In the book, he details for the first time one of the greatest desires (whether we like it or not) of human beings, specifically: “being likable.” 

Since the 30’s, interest in that field of psychology has only grown. In fact, even now in the area of coaching, any good professional in this beloved area knows how to train their clients in these basic, essential tools they’ll use to create a positive impact in their social environments.

But the strangest thing is that there are people who come straight out of the “factory” with this skill. This skill in connecting almost instantly with whoever’s in front of them. They awaken positive feelings, trust, and security.

This sometimes magical and spontaneous spark is as valuable as a diamond. Any good leader, for example, would want to be able to attract more people.

It’s also a tool anyone with poor social skills would want to develop to be able to enjoy some of their best relationships. To have a better daily life where they can make more friends, find a relationship, and feel, essentially, more secure about themselves.

People who are likable without even trying: Authentic people

Something we all know is that wanting to be liked by those around us is an endless source of suffering. It doesn’t make sense, it’s not useful or healthy.

But then there are those types who, effortlessly, without looking for it or forcing it, manage to connect almost instantly with 80% of the people they encounter every day.

A lot of people wouldn’t hesitate to say the explanation is physical attractiveness. Now then, there’s something that people who choose salespeople or fundraisers for an NGO definitely know.

It’s that there’s something more. Something present in non-verbal language or even in what a lot of people now call “the art of gentleness.” 

That is, the virtue of having an open and welcoming attitude that helps us reach people around us in a friendly, trusting, and effective way.

Now we’ll see what other dimensions are shared by all people who are likable without even trying.

The Duchenne smile, the most sincere one of all

We’re perfectly capable of faking a smile. We’re capable of granting other people the most spectacular and captivating of smiles. But still, we can also hide some serious insincerity behind it.

• They say the Duchenne smile is naturally captivating. It inspires confidence and is like a natural connector in any social setting.
• The way it forms on our face is a result of the tightening of the major and minor Zygomatic bone, close to the mouth. There’s also a tightening that raises the cheeks and produces small wrinkles around the eyes…

Humility, the most attractive quality

Some people have qualities that cause immediate tension. It’s obviously the stress that comes with people who show up and talk about their life out of nowhere.

They criticize people who aren’t around, they’re tactless, make too many jokes, or abuse the personal pronoun, “I.” We’ve all experienced it at least once.

But on the opposite end there are people who, without trying at all, are likable. People whose humility we are instantly attracted to.

There are a few dimensions to this, brush-strokes that can create a magical, exceptional work of art.

• We said it earlier: something likable people tend to practice is the art of gentleness. With their always-open attitude they’re able to establish familiarity with us right away.  We feel we can open up to them comfortably and naturally. 
• Their posture and non-verbal language is completely free of any traces of power. They don’t impose themselves, they’re never rigid. It’s all openness and intimacy.
• Also, something likable people have in common is that they don’t complain, demand, or criticize. Their attitude is always delightfully humble…

To wrap up, there’s there are many people with this light written into their DNA. But there’s still an important thing to remember about all this: these qualities can be learned. 

While it’s true that we don’t need to be likable to everyone, it’s good for us to be able to connect better with specific people.

So working every day on these qualities will definitely help us. It will help us touch people’s hearts.