Learn to Enjoy Being Alone

November 29, 2016

Throughout our lives, we were never taught how to be alone. And deep down, almost none of us really like to be. Given the family mandate and social pressure, sometimes we feel frustrated and stress out when time passes and we remain single.

But the worst part is that often we make the wrong decisions, such as beginning a relationship with someone who we aren’t truly compatible with, simply to avoid loneliness. Or even worse, because we’re being motivated by the fear of “what people will say”.

Do you need someone else to feel better? 

The truth is that we shouldn’t view being single as something necessarily negative. This period of time can be very positive for us as a learning experience and even for the future and our next partner.

It is clear that if we look at it from this perspective, the panorama changes. However, many people remain upset for not having someone to love and to love them back.

If you can’t manage to feel good by yourself, it’s likely that you’ll see being single as a tragedy. But it all depends on how you view and manage the situation. 

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If you know how to take advantage of it, the time you spend alone can be extremely fruitful in terms of personal growth. We should really ask ourselves how we’re supposed to be able to live with someone else, if we’re not even capable of living with ourselves.

Instead of searching desperately for a partner, it’s best to learn how to “be alone” first. Thus, it’s essential that we grow as people, to not seek a relationship solely to escape our overwhelming loneliness.

By being alone, we can find ourselves and better understand our virtues and defects. You must think about what makes you happy in a relationship. At the end of the day, the truth is that you’re never alone, despite what you may think.

Learning to be alone 

Up next are some ideas to help you learn to “be alone” as a starting point to achieve a happier and more authentic relationship.

These recommendations will help you live more fully and better manage your frustration:

  • Activate your adventurous spirit and try new things out that are different from what you usually do.
  • Determine what is important to you and makes you happy. That is to say, what are your values. Determine how to stay consistent with your scale of values.
  • Don’t be so hard on yourself. Lower your level of self-demands a little and learn to accept yourself.
  • Forget conventionalisms. Learn what other people’s limitations and strengths are. This way it won’t be a problem when they don’t act according to your expectations.
  • Strive to better yourself every single day. Not for anyone else, simply for yourself.
  • Love and spoil yourself. Discover what cheers you up when you are feeling down.
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Living life to the fullest 

You have to live in the present moment fully, regardless of whether or not that “better half” is going to arrive and fix all of your problems.

It’s really about focusing your efforts inwards, improving yourself as a person, discovering your goals and chasing them.

Keep in mind that only a person that’s fulfilled, satisfied and happy with themselves and the life they lead can build happiness with someone else by their side.

You are your own best company…