The Indifference of Passive-Aggressive People

Passive-aggressive personalities often hide behind what looks like depression. They might seem fragile and in need of help, but the truth is that they have deliberate behaviors they pretend to be accidental. Their goal is to make you feel bad. The indifference of passive-aggressive people is one of the many grenades they handle skillfully.

These people live in deep resentment and passively punish anyone around them. They’re very difficult to deal with at the communicative level. They don’t have any intention of expressing themselves. Passive-aggressive people are also capable of building up a lot of anger, which they contain in their silence.

What is a passive-aggressive personality type?

Passive-aggressiveness is related to a certain type of personality that focuses exclusively on the negative side of things. These people are unable to become involved in personal relationships. They’re very sensitive to criticism and frequently seem to be in a bad mood. They’re constantly complaining and they have a hard time coming up with real solutions to their problems. To them, the possible solutions aren’t good enough.

Passive-aggressive people rarely have close friends. They only maintain relationships with immediate family members. In general, they’re very prudent in their dealings with others and lack social skills. These kinds of people generally frustrate others. They know exactly how to push other people’s buttons.

Most passive-aggressive people don’t think that others pay them the respect or attention they deserve. The attention needs to be on them at all times. These people think that others don’t value them enough and that they don’t treat them fairly in most cases.

They like to “forget” their obligations and avoid compromise. When they have to do something, they make the task seem far worse than it actually is. On the other hand, when they do a favor for someone, they make themselves seem like a martyr.

Passive-aggressive peoples’ indifference

It’s very difficult for a passive-aggressive person to have a debate with someone. They don’t have any assertive capacity and are afraid to state their opinions due to potential rejection from others. They feel comfortable when the conversation revolves around others. In this communicative context, they “feel safe”.

Silence and derisive sarcasm are the two pillars of the indifference of passive-aggressive people. They avoid getting involved in group activities because they feel a great disregard for other people’s talents. In fact, they prefer to judge others from a distance without intervening so they don’t become the focus of judgment.

The indifference that comes from passive-aggressive people is a form of revenge and manipulation that creates a lot of discomfort. It’s a type of interaction that causes a lot of mental tension. They subject the people around them to an aggressive silence and discrete mistreatment. Their victims end up feeling really confused.

The only reason why passive-aggressive people show indifference is to make you feel bad for whatever shortcomings you have. Thus, they can blame you for something they did themselves or they can cover up whatever unhealthy jealousy is eating them away. Therefore, they’re people who ultimately want to hurt you.

Victims of passive-aggressive people

The main victims of passive-aggressiveness are usually generous people who are attracted by the image that passive-aggressive people can offer. A passive-aggressive person always claims to be in need of help and protection.

Additionally, this type of personality doesn’t like anyone to handle their situations but, at the same time, they reproach others who don’t take control. These people tend to fall for people who “need to need them”. People who feel good feeling needed are their prey. The passive-aggressive person’s silence and indifference can last for days. If you ask them why they’re acting that way, they’ll tell you that you’re just imagining things.

Unfortunately, it’s really hard for passive-aggressive people to change. We have to remember that these people tend to come from family environments with dominant passive-aggressive attitudes. That’s why it’s so difficult for them to experience change. They’ve learned that passive manipulation is the only way they can have power in their relationships. 

How to act when someone’s being passive-aggressive with you

The wisest advice is to get away from this type of person as quickly as possible. However, there are certain circumstances where we can’t choose that option. We haven’t chosen all the people in our lives, nor can we distance ourselves from everything we don’t like about people. There are many cases of mothers, fathers, and very close relatives in situations of dependency with a person with this personality.

Actually, the only way to interact with a passive-aggressive person is not yielding to their control. You have to set boundaries and not let yourself get caught up in their indifference and bitter criticism. You have to remember that they wear poisonous armor to cover up their shortcomings. These people just want to project their frustration onto others.

Next, keeping calm is the best weapon against a passive-aggressive person. What they want is to control you and make you feel bad so that they can momentarily relieve their own discomfort. The best way to achieve this is by seeing them as frightened children. You should see them as people with huge egos.

Finally, remember that there are some differences in diagnostic manuals when it comes to these personality types. In this sense, we can consult Scott Wetzler and Leslie C. Morey’s studies.