I Was All I Could Be, I Am Now All I Want

· January 29, 2017

I have lived completely deceived for a long time and, worst of all, I wasn’t even aware of it. I thought my life made sense until I realized I had only been what I could be, not what I wanted to be.

Not that I have deceived anyone, is not that, it’s that I had not been honest with myself. It’s a very strange feeling because in that bubble of comfort you don’t realize that you are not being true to your essence. You feel calm and well but not completely full of life.

“Get up! Do not be a living lie anymore.”

-W. E. Henley-

And when the vitality truly comes…it results in you discovering yourself. Then you see how positive energy comes in everything you do or in every event that happens to you. Self-esteem finally seems to be in its right place and dreams and goals are a little closer.

The significance of being authentic

Only the really pure things are invaluable. So of course, imagine the price of not staying true to yourself. 

young girl looking at herself in the mirror

The significance of being who you are lies precisely in the freedom of accepting everything we have been cultivating over years, experiences, and feelings. Experiences shape us; it is the accumulation of moments that we have gone through to get to this and there is nothing more rewarding than being aware of it and sharing it.


“When it looked at us it seemed that it searched for the truth within us or that it know that behind any thing was something else.”

-Clara Sanchez-

Being authentic is also the only way that we can love and be loved sincerely and one of the biggest reasons that those around us decide to stay with us: there are no lies to anyone, not even for you, and the relationships are healthy and strong.

I can be what I really want

Being what you want to be always costs a little more than being what you you’re supposed to be and although it’s quite a mouthful, if you think carefully it is a resounding truth. Society, with its still lack of respect or lack of tolerance, makes it very difficult to open ourselves to the world with all the clothes thrown on the floor.

However, never forget that all this can cause damage only if you give it the authority to do so. Act as you feel, as long as you also to respect others and put aside all the obstacles put before.

woman forming a heart with her hands

If you also are in that situation where you are not even aware that you’re not one hundred percent, it could also be the time for you to take it easy on yourself. Who knows, maybe you find some serendipity that brings even more happiness to your life.

How do I get it?

This response is probably the most difficult to answer, since it depends mostly on each person, what they feel and how far they are willing to go. One of the processes that I have followed in order to the person I want to be is learning to be alone in order to find my inner peace.

That is, if you intend to give yourself to others honestly, first you need to be honest with yourself and that means listening to yourself, knowing yourself, understanding that you do not require company to complement you, being aware of your weaknesses and your strengths, recognizing what bothers you and what you like, shelving your mistakes, minimizing the importance of what has hurt you… in short, engage in self-inquiry.

“Living your desires, using them up in life, is the fate of all existence.”

-Heraclitus-

hands in the air throwing flower petals

The “chip” has been changed and it seems that the whole circle around your life has changed with you: you smile more, challenges are easier and the little things no longer go unnoticed. Therefore, I encourage you to stop looking in the wrong place so you find your truth.

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