I Prefer a Dignified Solitude Over an Incomplete Relationship

· April 17, 2016

We’re afraid of solitude, both men and women, but sometimes solitude is not only necessary, but also curative. Being alone means being able to think about ourselves, about what we want, about our dreams, and above all, about how we feel.

Being alone does not mean being sad, it means enjoying those moments, days, years, relaxing and squeezing all we can out of life. Solitude dignifies us and distances us from relationships that are incomplete and even damaging.

“Solitude does not weaken me, it strengthens me, fills me with something strange that nourishes me, tells me of the night, tells me stories that are true.”

-Chavela Vargas-

Being happy with oneself

We can’t let our happiness depend on other people, even our partners. If you’re not happy alone, you won’t be happy in a relationship. We must first love ourselves if we want another person to love us. How can you expect someone else to love you if you don’t love yourself?

Solitude is associated with spiritual development. In fact, figures like Jesus Christ, Buddha, and Mohammed had crucial revelations during moments of solitude. It’s also related to creativity; writers, philosophers, and scientists have praised it as an essential element for the generation of new ideas.

flowing dress


Nowadays, social networks like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram allow us to be continuously connected with other people, but have taken us away from the practice of connecting with ourselves. But love for ourselves and taking time to be alone with our thoughts is an act of necessary selfishness on many occasions.

The idea that many things should be done in the company of other people is so ingrained in us, but what would happen if you went to the movies alone, or your favorite restaurant, or an art exhibition, or if you stayed home alone on a Saturday night? The only thing that would happen is you’d enjoy it.

With age, solitude becomes your best friend

We are social animals, it’s true, but as the years go by, the need to always be with other people progressively decreases. With age, our interests become clearer and we start to focus on them, without needing to try things that we don’t like or interact so much with other people.

Put simply, we reach a balance of enjoying solitude just as much as we enjoy spending time with other people. In its own way, solitude is like a friend that you spend time with too.

Solitude can give you the chance to develop your personal or work interests, or dedicate time to taking care of your physical and mental health. We’re not talking about a sad solitude, but rather a sought-after solitude that’s necessary to reconcile ourselves with our minds and spirits.

“To live alone is the fate of all great souls.”

-Arthur Shopenhauer-

Say goodbye to an incomplete relationship

We think of solitude in terms of not having a partner, but there are many cases of people who are alone, despite being in relationships.

free birds

A relationship that you feel bad about is not worth it. A relationship in which you are treated poorly is not worth it. Run away quickly.

Say goodbye to the things that make you feel bad. It’s difficult, but it won’t kill you. For some time, you’ll think about the good times you shared with that person, but you shouldn’t forget the reality. Let time heal your wounds, don’t rush to find someone else, enjoy being by yourself.

There’s always a period of mourning after a breakup that tends to last from six months to a year. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to walk through the rain, do it. If you need to forget, say “enough!” every time a memory of the past crosses your mind.

Now you’re free, with everything that comes with that. Decide, enjoy, do and stop doing, walk, run, dream, kiss, hug, look, experience life. Let the solitude wrap around you like a warm blanket, let your thoughts fly freely, and let your feelings bloom on your skin.

I have decided to be happy because it’s good for my health.”

-Voltaire-