Gray People Turn Off Our Lights

Gray People Turn Off Our Lights
Cristina Roda Rivera

Written and verified by the psychologist Cristina Roda Rivera.

Last update: 21 December, 2022

Gray people tend to discourage other people’s dreams. They judge, humiliate, lie, and give you complexes about what you are. They go through life trying to subtract, instead of add. They say hurtful things without caring about how you might feel.

Gray people turn lights off, and one of them might be yours. Why? They’re not sure. Some people, instead of trying to transform their pain into healing, have chosen to discourage others so that their world is more in tune with what they are. Because you can’t see their light, nor their darkness, you can only see the harm they’ve caused in you.

There are many ways gray people accomplish their mission: they devalue everything you do, ridicule you dreams, tell you that they always give up, and therefore, leave in their wake emotional corpses that are attuned to their “bad energy”.

behind blanket

The world is full of noble people who vibrate with life even though they’ve suffered through some setbacks. They refuse to become someone they’re not. But unfortunately, a person with light can find many of gray people along their path and end up having their light extinguished.

Maybe when they’re extinguished they’ll become bitter people who’ll repeat the behaviors that one day made them crumble completely. It’s a chain of negativity that keeps them from moving forward.

If you’re a person with light, gray people may want to extinguish it

What are people with light like? Many of us would say that they’re the kind of people that can make you smile. They are moderate but committed to the problems that surround them. They have no desire for recognition, but end up being in the spotlight in the most intimate corners of many souls who come to them for their empathy and character. People with light transmit peace.

But, above all, people with light don’t carry a backpack full of scorns, judgment, hurtful comments or humiliation on their backs. People with light have dreams, they adapt to their environment without letting social conventions break them. And most importantly, they don’t want their lives to end with dreams unfulfilled, but rather with experiences to remember.

If they perceive that another person is fighting for the same thing, they don’t compete with or envy them, they simply choose them as a companion for their journey. People with light cheer others up. They support others because they get joy from other people’s joy.

“I find braver he who conquers his desires than he who conquers his enemies, since the hardest victory is victory over oneself.” 

The best weapons to protect your light

To protect your light when faced with someone trying to extinguish it, you can use the following strategies to protect yourself:

  • Ignore: Don’t confront them, don’t try to prove anything. If you hear a lot of of comments trying to discourage you, don’t waste your energy trying to convince them they’re wrong. You need that energy for your journey.
  • Surround yourself with people who have the same value as you: You’ll meet people very different from you throughout your life, but if you meet someone with the same values, your path will be easier.
  • Keep away from drama: Keep some distance from people who foster drama, even in the small events of your life. Don’t let the stigma encouraged by others overpower you and what you’re trying to do.
  • Practice humor: Gray people don’t tolerate humor, since to them everything is a sign of danger and negativity. So don’t ever stop practicing your smiles.
  • Believe that your ideas are worthwhile: Someone once said that if people don’t fight for their ideas, either the ideas aren’t worthwhile or the person isn’t. So if you think your ideas are worthwhile because they’ll bring you more liberty or happiness, don’t doubt them.
  • Don’t measure success in money, fame or stability: In this life, there are no answers, only stories. Make yours significant for you without measuring yourself by established parameters.
  • If someone judges you, lend them your shoes: Don’t forget that there will always be people ready and willing to judge everything you’ve done badly in life, without caring at all about the circumstances you’ve had to face. But these people aren’t important in your life, and if they are, why do you keep allowing them to do it?
  • Trust your charm: Trust your charm and your way of doing things, but with humility and without believing that you have nothing left to learn.

    “Charm is what you have until you believe it.”  
    -Simone de Beauvoir-
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What to do if you feel that your light has been extinguished

Fortunately, we’re not only what happens to us or what we believe we are in life. Our personality is built throughout our lives, and while it’s true that some experiences change us, the change only transforms us. It’s not something fixed and immutable.

If you have lost hope and some people you’ve met have hurt you more than you’ve ever imagined, it’s OK to feel weird and sad for a while. But if you’ve lost hope and you abandon your dreams, it’ll be hard for you to find your life’s meaning again.

It would be fantastic to try again. To not let them take your hope away again, your small ways of tasting life your own way, uniquely. Don’t give those gray people the satisfaction of stealing the meaning of your existence. They have already ruined their own. It’d be good for you to ask yourself this question: Do you want to be just another gray person?

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.