Are You Giving Too Much and Receiving Too Little?

January 31, 2016

Sometimes we feel we are giving and giving but, at the same time, we are not receiving. This usually happens when we are sad, because we are not rewarded in any way and we just end up thinking the world is not worthy of our dedication.

When you get tired of giving and giving without receiving you may even end up preventing someone from offering you help. Thus, the lack of reciprocity just feeds a spiral of disappointment and pain.

If this happens to you, it is best to set aside these obligations you have imposed on yourself because it is an exchange that ends up being toxic for you and destroys your health as a result.


How will know if I’m giving too much of myself?

Something is wrong if you are tired, if you are overwhelmed by sadness, disappointment or disenchantment and if you feel that what you do for the other person is a burden when it shouldn’t be. Some people can literally suck the energy out of us.

Chances are they will not notice, so it is always advisable and necessary to get yourself together and clarify these issues. Even if they are aware of the issue, it’s possible they’ve become comfortable with the uneven relationship and want to maintain the situation as is.

So it is best to test that interest by stopping ourselves from striving to meet their needs and see what happens next. A selfish attitude can be seen from miles away, we just need to look in the right direction.


Do you love yourself enough to give fairly when you’re receiving less?

It is no use fighting against all odds for a person who does not move a finger. It is no use constantly helping someone with a job he or she is not interested in learning to do. It does us no good to give without receiving.

We cannot dedicate ourselves to others and forget about ourselves. The only gratitude we cannot live without is gratitude is to ourselves, it is the pillar of self-love and the foundation of our personal growth.



Give to feel good

Give a lot. Give a little. But always give. When we help someone, we are offering a very important part of ourselves. This teaches us to appreciate each other, so it is essential to take care of this part of our lives.

But it’s important to have boundaries. We cannot give everything or allow someone to take advantage of us. That would make us feel foolish, while being dangerous for our self-esteem and well-being.

Offering good words, good feelings, good deeds and good thoughts to those who helped us at some point is very important because this will help us remember the value of goodness and offering to others.


The power of reciprocity and gratitude

We only need to realize how exhausting and demoralizing it is to give too much without getting anything in return in order to know the value of gratitude.

The truth is that we can show appreciation for what others do for us in many ways. We can do this with a simple smile, a few words or by our actions. What is clear is that appreciation is always a way to give or match something that we have received.

Healthy reciprocity is based on an exchange of gratitude. Saying “thanks” or showing some other sign of appreciation is recognizing that the person we have before us did something that caused us happiness.

Gratitude is an important pillar for our well-being and health. Its absence hurts and frustrates us, creating a spiral of pain and complaints that will make us feel sad and disillusioned.

Thanking and being grateful makes us feel valid and like people worthy of love, which keeps our self-esteem and our emotional well-being in good condition. Both in good times and in bad, it comforts us and encourages us to continue giving and, of course, continue wanting to receive.