Getting Rid of Emotional Parasites
If some people are weighing down on you, start carrying them in your heart not on your shoulders. Don’t make their problems weigh down your life, and don’t turn them into a backpack that you need to carry.
People are much more than that. That is to say, they are a part of your life but at the same time they are the “everything” of theirs. Therefore, everyone must carry their own weight and not lean on other people.
If we do this, if we make ourselves responsible for our own existence, we’ll be able to solve our problems, understand our emotions and handle conflicts without depending on anybody else.
Emotional parasites are people who prey on our feelings, emotions and thoughts. They aren’t necessary bad people. They are simply people who live immersed in their own complexes and never seem to do anything for themselves.
So, you could say that there are two types of emotional parasites. Let’s take a look.
Some adhere to a part of us and spend their lives confiding their sadness in us and their bad moments so that we can comfort them. These people need us to vent out their discomfort with the world. And when they are fine, we probably will hear no news of their existence.
That is to say, when the person feels satisfied, they forget who helps them when they’re down. However, when they again feel the need to validate their emotional state, they come back. This behavior usually doesn’t only hurt us and make us feel used, it’s also contagious. It spreads their negative state and destroys us.
Their whining, disappointment and pessimism is so constant that they require opinions often in order to push them out of their rumiation. Their point of view is so blackened, they make us question our own perspective.
Secondly we have emotional parasites that behave aggressively, taking advantage of their attractiveness, leadership or persuasive abilities based on promises you can’t turn down.
These are people who bamboozle us slowly and invade our lives. They demand more and more affection from a person without stopping to think about the emotional consequences this might have on their victim.
In relationships, they only contemplate their own needs and, though they don’t do it consciously, tend to always fulfill and satisfy their whims and interests above everything else. The same way, they knock down any petition from the person they are taking advantage of.
They ask for more and more love and attention, making the situation harder and harder to put up with. Thus, it generates a feeling of powerlessness and worthlessness that develops a state of insecurity and low self-esteem on the other.
As is expected, this situation absorbs our energy, wears us down and annuls us. Usually when we notice what’s happening, we take some time to “detoxify ourselves,” but upon going back our energy is wasted once more.
Get rid of the parasites, walk your own path
If you feel like you are carrying around people on your shoulders, the right thing to do is analyze and reflect upon all of the emotional imbalances that these relationships are causing you.
Remember that the emotional parasite transmits and spreads their emotional states to you. So it’s possible that you may feel psychologically tired and diminished.
The important thing is for you to recover all of your own personal needs that were left discarded while you were tending to your parasite. Once you recover them, prioritize them. Doing this doesn’t mean that you stop loving that person. You’re just protecting yourself from certain aspects in order to maintain your emotional equilibrium.
Don’t feel incapable or guilty for not being able to satisfy the needs of the other person. Everyone is responsible for their own lives and the rest of us only form parts of it, not its entirety. Remember that everyone must hold their own weight, and don’t take on the role of a savior. We are only responsible for our own happiness.