Five Values ​That Can Only Be Learned in a Family

· January 23, 2017

We can say that the family has always been an institution in crisis. What varies from age to age is the kind of crisis that it faces and the values it presents. In the past the issues were marginalization of women and authoritarian parenting models. Presently, it has to do with the overly permissive discipline models and breaking marital bonds.

Whatever the case, we can say that the family is the decisive nucleus in the formation of every human being. It lays the foundation for some fundamental values which are crucial for the construction of identity and the basic link we establish with the world.

“There are only two lasting bequests can give our children: one being, roots; the other, wings.”

-Hodding Carter-

Usually, it is in the family that we learn to recognize who we are and what we want. It shapes our attitude toward reality. No matter if it is a single parent family or even if it isn’t our biological family. Those around us in our early years leave an indelible mark on who we are; a brand that is part of the five values that we will describe to you below.

1. Love for life

In every human being there is a tendency that inclines toward life and the other towards death. Life and death are not only biological states. Life is associated with movement, change and growth. Death, meanwhile, refers to the opposite: the states of passivity, fixation, and stagnation.

family with children


It is in early childhood and with the family when one of these two forces is rooted more vigorously in our minds. If you are fortunate to have a family in which a tendency toward life prevails, it is more than likely that this attitude takes hold of you. This is something that goes beyond words. It has to do with a deep disposition towards everything it means to live.

This does not mean that someone who was born in less favorable conditions cannot develop a love for life. Nor does it mean that when love prevails in a person that they do not experience moments or situations that are more inclined to what death represents. But definitely having a family with a positive trend towards life is a big advantage.

2. Respect for authority

When we speak of authority, we are not referring to any source of commands or orders. Rather, we refer to those persons or bodies which exude a legitimate and rational power that must be respected. In turn, this respect does not mean blind obedience, but recognition of the higher hierarchical status of a person or an institution, due to certain values (age, experience, knowledge, etc.).

Respect for authority is one of the values learned in family. It is precisely the model of authority that parents are capable of generating. If they manage to instill discipline and transmit intelligent convictions against certain values, they will probably succeed in establishing in the consciousness of children the idea of respect for experiences. Something that does not conflict with expressing disagreement or reasonable criticism to the thoughts of someone older.

fists of a father and son

3. Self-control of emotions

Parents are full-time teachers, even when they are not present. More than words or commands, the example of parents is crucial. Children basically absorb the behavior they see around them and imitate it. With actions they are told that something is right, what is not and how to behave in various situations.

Children will have many moments of chaos because they are starting to discover their emotions and therefore do not have a lot of control over them. If facing the small internal chaos, they come across adults who maintain serenity and help them channel their uncontrolled reactions, they will gradually assimilate this attitude and incorporate it into their way of being.

One of the functions of adults is precisely putting reasonable limits on the intensity and expression of emotions. This is where communication skills and emotional intelligence of people in the immediate environment of the small ones comes into play.

boy covering a glass jar with a fish

4. Gender identity

Gender identity is an individual value as part of personal self-definition. It doesn’t matter if someone considers him/herself a man or woman, regardless of their biological sex. What counts here is precisely this possibility of building identity as one or the other gender, without pressures to fit a stereotype.

A healthy family is flexible in assigning roles for each gender. This gives greater freedom for everyone to identify their tastes, preferences and their place in the world by breaking free of rigid social norms. Undoubtedly, gender identity decisively influences the choice of partners and a way of experiencing sexuality from the earliest ages.

5. Fraternity

Fraternity, beyond being a value, is a way of relating to the world. It is a significant degree of comfort with yourself because without self-love it is impossible to value others. But, in turn, fraternity is precisely one of the values that can spread to the individual level and connect with the world in a constructive way.

father and daughter

The family is the first social nucleus and, thus, it is there that the foundations of human relationships are learned. It is in the family where humans often learn the responsibilities and considerations they must have for others. It is not something that is imposed, but rather is experienced in the daily life of the family. Thus, if the link is founded on solidarity and justice, the child will probably assimilate these values into their way of behaving.

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