What Can You Do for Yourself? Be Proactive
The problem with many of us is that we believe that we will be happy when we reach a certain level in life. Unfortunately, it’s a dangerous spiral to see your happiness only in the future and put conditions on it.
This carrot we hang in front of ourselves — depending on how we manage it — can be a great motivation or a constant source of frustration. Now, the question is: what can you do for yourself? How can you be proactive in your own life?
Think about how now is the only time you have that is guaranteed. Right now is life. No longer putting conditions on your happiness in the future, and breaking the chains of guilt you’ve been dragging around from the past… this is learning to live in the “here and now.” This is giving the present a chance and being proactive with it.
People sometimes say they haven’t “found themselves” yet. However, the self is not something that one finds, but something that one creates. There is only a small part of the universe that you are guaranteed to be able to improve (although sometimes you don’t know how), and that part is you.
“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practice resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life”.
-Henry David Thoreau-
Be proactive and start creating your own happiness
When someone makes you happy, somehow you discount your own ability to make yourself happy, too. Happiness is often found where we decide to look for it. If we are proactive and seek happiness within the possibilities that we have, it is very likely that we will find it.
In life, you rarely “get” opportunities; you create them. We will never be totally sure something works, but we do know that wallowing in indifference won’t work. We have everything we need right now to take the next step. So be proactive. Go find those opportunities.
Instead of waiting for great things to happen — marriage, children, winning the lottery — you can place happiness in places that are closer, sooner. We’re talking about the “little things.” Savoring a cup of coffee, the smell of a homemade meal, the pleasure of sharing something you like, enjoying moments with your friends or significant other.
“Happiness consists more in the small conveniences of pleasures that occur every day, than in great pieces of good fortune that happen but seldom to a man in the course of his life”.
-Benjamin Franklin-
Start being yourself
Trying to be someone else is wasting the person you are. You can be yourself. Embrace the person inside you. Be the person you know you are; work on the best version of yourself. The version that you’ve been pushing aside for so long she’s become a stranger to you of disuse. Maybe you even fear her because she’s turned into a stranger.
One of the biggest challenges for people who want to grow is learning to accept what cannot be changed. Sometimes it’s better to accept and adapt than to go around and around something that has no solution.
As hard and sad as it may sound, the world puts limits on us that we cannot always jump over or go around. Thus, it is not about accepting a life of mediocrity, but rather learning to love and value things when they’re not perfect, even yourself.
While many decide at some point in their lives to dedicate themselves to their career, few push on after the first obstacles they fall over. Try to be the proactive owner of your choices and mistakes, and don’t shy away from reinforcements that will help keep up your motivation, because motivation is still the light and energy that will move you forward.
“If you have the guts to be yourself, other people’ll pay your price”.
– John Updike-
