Distance Yourself from Drama and Those Who Create It

· February 26, 2016

There is no doubt that there are many people around us who have a passion for knowing and criticizing the lives of others. 

“Many times we allow gossipy, jealous, authoritative, psychotic, arrogant, and mediocre people, overall toxic people, to enter into our most intimate circle of friends. We let in the wrong people, the people who constantly evaluate what we say and do, or what we do not say or do.  

-Bernardo Stamateas-

Boredom, which can be defined as the lack of goals and hobbies, together with the absence of pleasure, provokes certain people who cannot find satisfaction in their own lives to search for it vicariously through the lives of others. It is the search for a rush of adrenaline that they cannot find by themselves.

painting faces with tears drama


It’s a tendency we have all fallen prey to at some point, but a serious problem arises when this behavior becomes more than just an isolated incident. It becomes a problem when this behavior turns into a “way of life”. 

Why do we surround ourselves with people who incite drama?

Most of the time, we do not necessarily chose to be around these people, just as a dog does not choose to live with an abusive owner. It is simply a lottery that chooses us by the mere fact that we are playing this game of life.

These people may be present in our lives from childhood, or be our friends in college, or our boss at work; they may be one of those people, or all of them at once. We may constantly cross paths with them throughout life, or never even encounter them once. But if it happens, we must never blame ourselves for it. 

spiral staircase drama

Allowing them a space in our life is different than sharing our life with them.

How can we avoid letting them infect our lives with drama?

Friendliness, respect, and emotional distance are our best weapons. The answer is progressive distancing. Once we have made the positive decision to distance ourselves, we must convince ourselves to follow it through. Harmful behavior can be highly contagious and will not benefit us in any way.

So don’t hesitate; we should always get to know someone well in order to be able to choose well whether or not we want them in our life. To be happy, we must make decisions. Our emotional wellbeing is the base for everything else in life, for both ourselves and those around us. Therefore, deciding to distance ourselves from those people who we consider to be unhealthy for us is a good and necessary decision. 

Signs of a drama queen or king…

  • Constantly revisiting private conversations from the past. This person who one day heard us say something might realize our discomfort with respect to the topic and could start playing a dirty game. Maybe this person wants to torment us and hurt us, but we must remember that only we can allow it to affect us.
  • Making negative judgments. There is no other reality other than that which we, each individually, perceive to be true. Therefore, we cannot pay attention to what someone else says to us about the people in our environment. We must make our own reasonable and informed judgements.
  • Always wanting to get the last word. It is important to make it known to the world that our individuality is a parallel universe to others; we all have our own perspective and must stand up for ourselves.

If there is a toxic, drama-prone person we are trying to avoid, we should separate ourselves from their social circle and differentiate ourselves from them.

girl looking back at horses running drama

Try to minimize the relationship with the harmful person. If it ends completely, that is better…our mental and physical health will benefit greatly. 

There are people who pass through our lives with the sole purpose to show us how we do not want to be. The greatest presence we can allow them in our lives is their shadow as we walk away from them.