The Challenge of Starting Over After Failure

· October 21, 2015

Throughout our lives we can find ourselves in situations or moments that force us to question our path. Sometimes we’re only left with one choice after a failure: starting over. It might be that a long-term relationship has ended, that your kids have grown and left the nest, or that you simply have to find your way in life again.

That’s when questions start hitting you: What should I do? How do I start over? What steps should I take? Though the answers to these questions will depend on your personal situation, you should keep a positive outlook. It will always turn the wind in your favor.

Though it’s very easily said, it’s probably one of the most difficult steps to take, because you’ll likely be faced with people and moments that will remind you of your failure. This will plant seeds of doubt and disappointment in your head. But the truth is, this type of negativity harms you and keeps you from living fully. It doesn’t matter if the failure was beyond your control, random, or directly your fault, it’s the right time to move forward and not stay where you are now.

Overcome a failure with the right company

Another one of your first steps should be to round up some support. Many people will be waiting to remind you that you have failed, but there are surely others who would gladly lend you their support again. They won’t abandon you as you haven’t abandoned them.

Don’t allow the distrust planted by those who have withdrawn their support keep you from relying on those who are still willing to offer it. Remember, you won’t make it far alone; accept the support of others. 


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Reconnect with your purpose 

Though you might not think so during this time, we all have a purpose in life. Finding yours is one of the most important steps to starting over.

Stop thinking about what you don’t have any more and look for something new to be passionate about. Something that you enjoy, that will satisfy you. Draw your anchor, and stop trying to move forward while dragging it.

During the first couple of days, you might feel like there’s nothing else for you. And that’s ok, it’s part of the process. But don’t allow yourself to do is to stay in that mindset for too long. Just the time appropriate enough to grieve.

 

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Embrace change; try something new

One of the best ways to find a push to start off fresh is to do small new things, and to feel like you’re doing these well. Although it may not seem like it, these can help get you that much closer to the goal you desire.

Maybe a big goal, that requires a lot of effort and dedication, isn’t the best first step. You need motivation, to recover the sense of being in control, to feel that the current is once again in your favor before bracing deeper waters. So, set small goals that you can get rewarded for in a short amount of time.

Don’t let the fear of taking a risk, backed up by your past failures, make your knees tremble when it’s time to make changes that you know are necessary. And don’t just sit and wait for what comes next or what new challenges life has in store. Go out and look for new opportunities and set new goals for yourself. Seek to accomplish each goal. Use a small notebook each morning to write down what you want to accomplish that day.

If you want different results, don’t do things the same way all the time. I know it’s the easy path to take. Maybe it’s the one that makes you feel safe. But don’t forget that it’s the path that lead you to failure the last time. Sometimes it’s not enough to make a few small adjustments. Sometimes the change has to be radical.