The Best Quotes of Groucho Marx

· December 18, 2015

Since Groucho Marx‘s sarcastic and witty humor is so evident in each of his quotes, to pick only a handful is just that: a handful of Groucho’s expansive humor. In this case, we’ve chosen the ones that most got our attention. Phrases that make us pause and think, and give us something even better: guaranteed laughs!

“There are many things in life more important than money but they cost so much money!”  

It’s an intelligent comment because you can’t put a price on a smileand they’re not always easy to come by. 

“Why do they call it love when they mean sex?”  

How many times have we heard this quote and not known who said it?  Well, it was Groucho. It’s a phrase that we can apply on many occasions when it’s apparent that the attraction is only based on sex, and nothing more. So, see it for what it is and know that love will come at some other time. Undoubtedly it’s an intelligent, and more realistic, way to view some relationships, especially if you’re a hopeless romantic.

“I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and read a good book.”  


When you take into account the huge amount of television that’s just junk, the best thing you can do is just walk away and read a book! The best way to explain the reality of this home invader came along not long after the television showed up: the “silly box!”

“I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.”

 The truth of the matter is that some people are truly worth forgetting.

“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.”  

Groucho was truly ahead of his time when he came up with this apt description of political reality.

“Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.”  

The fact is that there are people that don’t deserve your time and energy.  Get rid of toxic people without any fear or second thoughts.  Get away from anything that produces negativity in you.

“If you keep having birthdays, you’ll eventually die.  Love, Groucho.” 

Life is like that; we’re all going to die.  If we can see death as a natural culmination to the life of our loved ones, we’ll feel better and be more able to deal with it and accept it as such.

“I was so long writing my review that I never got around to reading the book.”

 There are certainly those who thoughtlessly criticize just for the sake of being critical. Yes, we criticize, but we make clear and intelligent points. To criticize just for the sake of being critical is to inflict thoughtless harm.

If now, more than ever, you’re curious to read  more by Groucho Marx, don’t miss some of his books, such as Beds, Groucho and Me, Memoirs of a Mangy Lover and The Groucho Letters.