Be with the People Who Love You for Being You

· April 20, 2016

There are people out there who bring out the most sincere, genuine, and true side of who we are. They are those people who delve deeply into who we are, who cultivate the essence of our being, and who allow us to enjoy the wonderful feeling of being our true selves.

They are those people who have something that we can’t quite put into words. They simply and naturally invite us to have full confidence in who we are. They help us to feel completely free to act how we want to act, to move how we want to move.

Being able to be our true selves has become the exception rather than the rule. Because of this, we may often feel out of place among others. This is due to fear of being judged or labeled, which can lead to a tendency to hide our true interests or points of view in order to avoid certain confrontational situations.

“One cannot be oneself absolutely when they are in public, because being in public already requires a certain amount of self-defense.” 

John Lennon 

girl in field with crows people


The value of authenticity 

Sometimes we deny liking a certain kind of music, or the fact that we are interested in certain things but not in others. Sometimes we may even avoid or omit certain information about ourselves when asked, or are more enthusiastic to share other parts that may seem to be more accepted.

In this way, little by little, we begin to leave behind our true selves in the presence of others. This can even be carried over into our private lives and view of ourselves, which is much more serious and troubling.

In other words, we do not behave how we might like to around other people, and we end up reducing ourselves. This drains us emotionally and leaves us immersed in a characteristic mix of sadness, melancholy, and indifference. This, of course, has consequences in our relationships, which can, in turn, become more and more unsatisfactory.

However, sometimes we find people with whom we can always be ourselves. With these people we can feel truly good about who we are. Thanks to their influence, we allow ourselves to be free from those emotional chains and begin to feel hope again.

The sad truth, though, is that these kinds of connections are not abundant. When we have found one, we must appreciate it and each moment that we spend with that person. These people and the connections we have with them also allow us to contemplate ourselves more and improve who we are.

oranges with umbrella people

“The friendship one has with oneself is incredibly important, given that without it, one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.” 

Eleanor Roosevelt 

Be yourself with complete openness 

To be oneself completely and freely can be pretty complicated. How comfortable we feel with ourselves depends, to a great extent, on how we feel around other people. However, the thing that we must work to realize and put into practice has to do with ourselves. In other words, to be our true selves requires self-knowledge

Let’s analyze what we can do to help ourselves to do this:

  • Accept ourselves. We are all unique and irreplaceable. It is normal to want to show a version of ourselves that is more desirable to those around us, but that isn’t necessary. In fact, it can even be counterproductive. For most people, they’re most natural way of being is friendliness.
  • We cannot for our opinion of ourselves off of the image that others have of us. We must develop our own sense of self. This helps us to be more authentic and spontaneous.
  • Our value does not depend on how we compare ourselves to others. We all have ideals and values, but these things do not depend on other people. It is important to work to be a better person, but not to be like someone else or try to surpass someone else.

One of the most difficult challenges in life is to be ourselves in a world in which the majority of people are trying to be like someone else. Valuing ourselves is demanding, but no price is too high for the privilege of being who we truly are.