Asking For Help: How Can We Know The Right Time?

· May 9, 2018

Asking for help is not always an easy thing to do. When should we do it? When should we look for a outstretched hand? At what point should we decide that we can’t go it alone any more? When is outside help necessary? Are there objective patterns that show we should go to someone for help? In short, when is the right time to ask for help?

There’s no way we can specify the exact moment that everyone should ask for help. Everyone has different limits and different resources. So, how can we realize? Every one should realise when things are changing in their life. They should know what activities they aren’t doing because of fear, sadness or lack of desire, activities that used to make them happy.

The point at which we ask for help is set inside each one of us and we should know it. When we know it, then we have to swallow our pride and look for someone to help us. If we just keep on putting up with it, getting discouraged because our life is going nowhere, then our life is stuck in a rut. In this sense, sometimes a timely help is a battle won.

In many cases, asking for help gives us a new opportunity to find hope, rescuing us from a situation that we thought was impossible to resolve. We must, however, know who to go to for help and when. We need to stop trying to put up with it on our own, open up to someone, and let them help us.


Girl looking out to sea

Asking for help is a brave thing

We so often hide our feelings, believe that crying is weak, and think that we have more strength than we actually do. We think no one will understand us. These are all thoughts and feelings that can stifle us. We can’t do everything, and nor should we expect to be able to. Showing our feelings doesn’t mean we aren’t as brave. Nor is going to a specialist a sign of defeat or weakness. Quite the contrary. Asking for help demonstrates courage, intelligence and confidence.

We win our battles with effort and intelligent decision making. Being smart also means using resources that others may be able to provide for us. They may be the ones who can help us find the way when we are lost. Asking for help is a brave thing, because it implies recognizing our need, in addition to not giving up and having the hope that you will get what you want.

Has the time come when you feel that things are getting on top of you, when you realize you aren’t the same as before and aren’t happy? Has the time come when you feel you have gone too far on your own? Or that you can’t find pleasure in the small things any more, and the things that used to amuse you don’t any more, and you haven’t found us anything to replace them. If that time has come,  then it’s time to ask for help.

Worried women speaking

Learning to ask for help

Maybe the first step is the most difficult one. Why? Because we need to talk about ourselves, we need to open up and tell someone how we feel. We need to express ourselves and search determinedly for what is lacking in our lives.

How can we learn to ask for help? The first step is to find someone we can trust. Maybe you have tried to find help from the people around you and you don’t get any better. Or maybe the help they provide just isn’t enough. If that’s the case then it’s time to ask for help from a specialist.

There are so many to choose from that it probably won’t be difficult to find a specialist to help us in precisely what we need. If our throat hurt we would go to the doctor, and if we couldn’t move our neck we would go to the physiotherapist. If we couldn’t see properly we would go to the eye specialist, and if we got tooth decay, we know we have to go to the dentist. And yet, if our soul is hurting, we often wouldn’t think of going to see a psychologist.

A psychologist is just another specialist. To think he is just someone who only works with crazy people is very old-fashioned, and totally lessens the help he is able to provide. By working with a psychologist you will be able to increase your resources to be able to face the difficulties. He will help you to see things clearly when you decide to confront some issue in your life. He will help you to disperse those feelings of loneliness that suffocate our lives from time to time. The psychologist will also help to strengthen your motivation if it is weakened. If all this is true, then why not ask for help, even before you need it? It is the best decision you could make.