A Letter to You on Your Sad Days

A Letter to You on Your Sad Days
Gema Sánchez Cuevas

Written and verified by the psychologist Gema Sánchez Cuevas.

Last update: 21 December, 2022

If you’re reading this letter it is because your sad days are winning. Maybe they’ve won. You may have lost hope, feel overwhelmed by disappointment, or just feel like your heart is in a thousand pieces. Whatever the reason, this is how you feel.

Before continuing, find a comfortable, quiet place to read these words. A safe refuge where you can be alone with yourself. Then, I need you to close your eyes for a few seconds, take a deep breath and when you are ready, start reading, slowly, calmly and reflecting on every word… Ready?

You have the right to be sad

Life is not always easy. You get tired of fighting and faking a smile when your soul wants you to cry. It’s exhausting trying to deal with people.

Covering up your sadness has become your norm and the way you’ve kept going is by ignoring it. But not anymore. You can’t do it any longer. You’ve lost interest in life and you can’t hide it anymore.

It’s ok. You have the right to collapse. Trust me. Cry, scream out in pain, don’t smile if you don’t feel like it. Sometimes life is really tough.

It’s not your job to always be fine or make people think you are. Remember that masks hurt too, because they conceal the real you and allow you to deny yourself.

On your sad days, cry if that’s what you need, scream if you can’t take it anymore. It’s better to express how you feel than to let yourself drown.

go ahead and cry on your sad days

It doesn’t matter why you feel like this, just allow yourself to feel your sadness in order let out all that emotional pain you’re carrying inside. Accepting it is the only healthy way to do it and the best way to move towards happiness.

While you may not be responsible for how you feel, you are responsible for what you do with it.

Embrace yourself tightly, very tightly

From now on, forget your fears and be brave enough to be honest with yourself and see where you’re at. Look in the mirror and give yourself the love you’ve been neglecting.

Don’t be afraid. The worst that can happen is that you might discover a stranger looking back at you.

If so, embrace her. Embrace her. To get reacquainted with yourself, there’s no better medicine than the warmth of feeling loved… and it’s been too long.

Treat yourself with love, judgement-free, unconditional love. Then you’ll be able to gather up all your shattered pieces and find some understanding.

For this, I’m asking you from the bottom of my heart: please stop treating yourself badly. Whatever may have happened, blaming yourself and beating yourself up will just make it bleed more.

You need to forgive your mistakes, the times you didn’t know what to do. Nobody is born knowing. Your mistakes are part of your learning, it’s life.

But believe me, you learned from each one. At least you learned what not to do, and isn’t it good to know? Each one brings you one step closer.

a woman embracing herself

And stop with the why’s: “Why did it have to happen to me?”, “Why is it always like this?”, “Why did they do this to me?”… All they do is suck you into a terrible downward spiral.

You can recognize it because it’s full of justifications, explanations and evasions of feelings and responsibilities. If you let them, they will end up making your sad days the norm.

If you want to ask yourself questions, ask how, what, when or why. It will be more constructive and healing. Trust me.

Now, after embracing yourself and reflecting, it’s time to look at yourself in the mirror again to see who you really are. Look yourself in the eyes, connect with them and while you are doing this say this simple phrase out loud, only three words but three immensely powerful words: I love myself!”.

Maybe you realize that you’ve been waiting so long for someone to say this to you that you forgot that the only person who could do it was YOU.

The sun will rise after your sad days

Your sad days need you to listen to them so that you will understand them. Only then will your wounds begin to heal little by little and the pain begin to disappear.

Understanding it is the key to progress and self-love is most powerful tool to get there.

Your sad days help you to disconnect from the outside and connect with yourself.


Because, even though after your sad days the sun only peeks out so that you can get used to it again, it is up to you whether you go out and take it in or cover yourself up with a blanket to hide from it.

Dare to go out. Be brave once again and understand your sadness, and be you.

All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

  • Bylsma, L. M., Gračanin, A., & Vingerhoets, A. J. (2019). The neurobiology of human crying. Clinical Autonomic Research29(1), 63-73.
  • Homan, K. J., & Sirois, F. M. (2017). Self-compassion and physical health: Exploring the roles of perceived stress and health-promoting behaviors. Health psychology open4(2), 2055102917729542.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.