13 Steps to Develop Resilience

· March 23, 2016

Having resilience is not something extraordinary. It can be seen in common ordinary people that show an ability to recover when faced with tough times in life.

Resilience is an ability that guides us towards the future, hope and strength. But above all it guides us towards action. Resilience can be learned. It’s not a personality trait that is present in some people and not in others.

Being resilient means that despite pain and adverse circumstances, a person is able to go on with their life without losing control or feeling overwhelmed. They’re even able to start over when everything goes wrong.

dew on a plant


Many factors go into becoming a resilient person. One of the main factors is having significant relationships with the people around you, your family and friends. Another factor is having the ability to make realistic plans, designing your future steps through them, and having a positive outlook of oneself or the ability to handle strong emotions and impulses.

Ways to increase your resilience

The good thing is that even though it may seem complicated, all of these abilities can be learned and developed. Therefore, it’s not only accessible to a few people. All of us can be resilient at some point in our lives. Up next we’ll share some ways to increase your level of resilience:

  1. Establish good relationships with your environment. Think of family members, friends, coworkers or even the parents of your kids’ friends. Establish a social circle that makes you feel that your time is well spent and that you’re an important piece in your system.
  2. Accept that change is an indispensable part of life. There is no evolution without change. And even if you don’t want to evolve, change will happen. It’s important understand the difference between what you can influence and what you can’t. This way you can improve the things that can be improved.
  3. Avoid seeing the crises in your life as insurmountable problems. You can’t avoid highly stressful events from happening in your life, but you can improve the way you react to them. Try to expand your vision and be aware that the majority of stressful events are temporary, not permanent. If they are, design a plan to get organized and act.
  4. Establish small reachable goals. If you have a big goal on the horizon, the way to reach it isn’t by running. You have to go slowly, establishing small realistic goals along the way. Be aware of how far you can go because you don’t want to take on more than you can chew. If you’re able to accomplish some things, feel good about it. You’re on your way.
  5. Don’t be afraid to make decisions. Don’t ignore your problems or procrastinate. If you can do it now and it’ll save you some problems, do it as soon as you can. If you can’t do it now, be capable of waiting for the right moment without thinking about it too much before.
  6. Cultivate a positive outlook of yourself. Self-confidence in your personal skills and a positive attitude contribute to having a resilient attitude.
  7. Discover yourself. Maybe after a hard fall you’ll feel the need to find your spiritual side, to read, and explore your body and mind through different activities. A busy mind keeps you from bad thoughts and helps you establish a foundation for yourself that will help you in the future.
  8. Keep things in perspective. That something bad happened to you doesn’t mean that your whole life is going downhill, nor that your personality and values are bad. Define your problems well in order to attack them and keep them from contaminating the beautiful parts of your life.
  9. Ask yourself what you’ve done to get back up during past falls. Remember other tough times you’ve been through and think about what was the key to your recovery. If you’re clear on this, use this key again because what was good for one person during a certain circumstance might be good for you now.
  10. Take care of yourself. Don’t let work or worries take up all of your time. Do things you like and things you enjoy. And above all, rest. Spend time with people that make you feel good.
  11. Vent. Though they may be strong emotions, express them. Emotional repression can even make you sick.
  12. Consult books, therapy and online resources. Try to find people who have been through the same thing as you or look for professionals if you need to move forward and you don’t know where to start.
  13. Perseverance and confidence will be your allies to face the path ahead. Don’t forget it.
lady with clock

Resilience isn’t an isolated trait, it’s an outlook that will help you

They say that when you become strong there are few things that can hurt you or keep you from moving on with your life with hope. They can’t keep you from going through with your plans. Resilience is the ability to have that strength and incorporate it into a strategy that will help you improve the way you deal with your vital stressors.

Once you’re aware of it, you only need to develop it and put it into practice. With effort and consistency, you’ll be able to achieve it. Being resilient is a skill that can be learned and that will help you understand life in a different way.

“If it’s not within your grasp to change a situation that’s causing you pain, you can always choose the attitude with which to face this suffering.”
-Viktor Frankl-