Why is Talking to People so Exhausting?

August 30, 2018

Do you feel like you can’t go to parties because talking to people exhausts you? Do you feel like socializing is a waste of time? Is it difficult for you to relate to others? If the answer is yes, this article is for you. We’ll explain the reasons why you might feel exhausted when talking to other people.

First of all, feeling uncomfortable when talking to people doesn’t necessarily mean you have a problem. In other words, some personality traits don’t lend themselves to a lot of social time with other people. That doesn’t always imply that there’s an underlying psychological problem. People also confuse other problems with relational exhaustion. Fear of public speaking, for example. But in reality, they aren’t related.

However, there are psychological disorders that make it very difficult to open up and talk to people. For example, people with depression or anxiety tend to have a hard time in social situations. They are so internally focused that it’s difficult for them to relate to other people.

Reasons why talking to people is tiring

Next, we’ll explain some of the main reasons why you might experience fatigue, tiredness, or exhaustion when you talk to people.

Man exhausted from talking to people.

Concrete personality traits

We all know that there are different types of personalities. Within those types, according to one author, are different classifications and categorizations. In spite of this great diversity of personality models, nearly all of them have a characteristic known as introversion. No one is completely introverted, just as no one is completely extroverted. It isn’t about the presence or absence of the trait. Instead, it’s something that all of us have to a greater or lesser degree.

“Feeling uncomfortable when talking to people doesn’t necessarily mean you have a problem. In other words, some personality traits don’t lend themselves to a lot of social time with other people. That doesn’t always imply that there’s an underlying psychological problem.”

Introverts and extroverts

Introversion is a well-known personality trait. It’s the tendency of an individual to enjoy their inner life. Introverts are comfortable with small groups of people. They like when they can express their emotions at their own pace, without feeling pressured.

On the opposite end of the spectrum is extroversion. It’s important to remember, however, that all of us have some of both of these traits. What differs is the degree to which we are introverted or extroverted. Even very sociable people have days when they don’t want to talk to anyone. They can also feel exhausted by conversation.

In fact, for an introvert’s brain, talking to people implies spending a lot of energy. That’s why it can be exhausting. It’s not that it’s difficult for the brain to talk to people, but that it prioritizes other activities like creativity, introspection, reflection, and analysis. 

That is why experts recommend that introverted people alternate their social time with alone time. It’s important to keep in mind that there’s nothing wrong with feeling this way.

Introversion, the tendency to turn inward, can be one of the reasons why talking to people is exhausting.

Bad mood or lack of motivation

Being in a bad mood or a lack of motivation is another reason you might feel anti-social. If you’re unmotivated or feeling down, relating to others, working, or simply doing daily activities can be a burden.

In that sense, feeling tired of talking to people is perfectly normal if you’re in a bad mood or unmotivated. The reason is that when you’re trapped in these moods, you feel like other people aren’t helping or motivating you. What’s worse, they’re taking away some of your time.

A lack of motivation and a bad mood can also explain why talking to people is exhausting for you.

Ironically, one way to improve your mood is by talking to other people. However, for this strategy to work, you have to choose your company well. More than anything, it’s important to avoid people who just want to complain about their problems. They won’t make you feel better, they’ll just unload their negativity onto you.

Woman tired of talking.

Choose who you spend time with

Another reason why talking to people could be exhausting for you is also related to your mood. You might be feeling insecure because you don’t know who to talk to about your feelings. It’s also important to mention that feeling blue can make it difficult to pay attention and actively participate in social situations. Consequently, how you feel on an emotional level will affect your ability to talk to people and relate with others.

Sometimes talking to people is exhausting because you’re speaking to those who only want to talk about their problems. Instead of listening, they unload their emotional problems onto you.

Finally, although talking to other people wears you out, you should know it’s a necessary activity. We’re social beings and isolation only leads to greater isolation.

One possible alternative to improve your situation is to carefully choose who you talk to and what you talk to them about. For example, you’re very introverted but you spend a lot of time with very extroverted people. That means that they “demand” a high level of social participation from you, which isn’t motivating.