Dear Diary, Sorry For Bothering You Again: Low Self-Esteem
People with low self-esteem do not necessarily have to see themselves as useless or bad, but they rarely say something good themselves. This obviously has a high cost because it will coexist with unhappiness and despair.
In those with low self-esteem, we find unhappiness, frustration and despair as the main difficulties in life. This is based on difficulty in self-acceptance and self-esteem.
For this reason it is very important to examine how we feel about ourselves because the relationship between low self-esteem and personal problems is very high and is manifested in many ways. Let’s look further into this…
I can’t love myself, Do I have low self-esteem?
Low self-esteem is synonymous with a poor self-image. A person with low self-esteem disapproves of and devalues himself, and is constantly displeased with himself and his actions.
Often low self-esteem develops out of the pain of early social rejection, anxiety from not becoming what they would like to be and a great sadness for not meeting their expectations.
Scholars have not yet agreed on how to reflect the different ways that this construct arises. And most of the instruments available to us today assess self-esteem in a direct and self-reported way.
One of the most widely used scales to measure self-esteem, is the Rosenberg self-esteem scale.
So, if you want to have a brief overview of your self-esteem, you can do so quickly by honestly answering 10 simple sentences.
The first 5 sentences must be assessed in these terms 4 (strongly agree), 3 (agree), 2 (disagree) and 1 (strongly disagree).
- In general, I am satisfied with myself and think I’m a person worthy of appreciation.
- Sometimes I think I’m not good at anything.
- I have the feeling that I have some good qualities.
- I am able to do things as well as most people.
- I feel that I do not have too many things to be proud of.
The 5 sentences that follow should be assessed in these terms 4 (strongly disagree), 3 (disagree), 2 (agree) and 1 (strongly agree).
- Sometimes I feel really useless.
- I have the feeling that I am a person of worth, at least as most people.
- I wish I respected myself more.
- In general I tend to think I’m a failure.
- Sometimes I think I’m not a good person.
Now add up your score and value it according to this criterion:
- From 30 to 40 points: High Self-Esteem. Considered a normal and healthy self-esteem.
- From 26-29 points: Average Esteem. There are no serious self-esteem problems but it is desirable to improve it.
- Less than 25 points: Low self-esteem. There are significant problems with self-esteem.
The psychological profile of a person with low self-esteem
When assessing the psychological profile of a person with low self-esteem we should ask if that person experiences extreme rejection towards themselves or if it is a mere distortion of their qualities and capabilities that forces them to focus only on the negative.
There is evidence that in order to improve, people with low self-esteem need to think about themselves in a positive way. The problem is that when something threatens their sense of worth, they find little reason to address and highlight their positive qualities.
People with low self-esteem tend to describe themselves in an unenthusiastic way. It is typically done using terms such as “I consider myself somewhat nice or friendly,” “average worker”, etc.
They tend to feel more responsible for bad events than they really are. Similarly, when something positive happens, they do not believe that there is a connection between the event and their characteristics and behavior.
People with low self-esteem tend to engage in ill-defined or overly lofty goals so they think they “need to get absolutely everything they propose.” They have fewer coping skills and sometimes even boycott themselves in achieving their goals. This helps perpetuate their negative view of themselves.
As we see, low self-esteem is a lack of affection for ourselves. To improve self-esteem, we must avoid comparing ourselves with others, work to transform the negative into positive and develop a personal strategy that allows us to visualize ourselves positively. In the event that our case is very painful we should consult with a psychologist as soon as possible.