It Is Useless to Worry About Security

23 October, 2016

Human beings are continuously looking for security. They want to find it in the workplace, in their relationship, within their family, with money… and it’s logical, since our ultimate goal is always to survive.

When we worry about things, we think that we’re going to prevent certain unpleasant circumstances that can happen in our lives. And the problem with this is that we could even end up becoming obsessed with security, which would negatively impact our emotional health.

This takes the form of generalized anxiety disorder. People with this disorder worry excessively about any circumstance, because they believe that what is going to happen in the future is going to be negative. And they believe this fully and completely. Besides worrying about the events in their life, they worry about being worried. This creates a vicious circle which is difficult to escape. 

To worry or not to worry

Obviously, in our lives there is a responsibility, and it is necessary that we take care of our own matters as best we can. But we have to be very clear on the difference between dealing with something and worrying about it.

Dealing with it is having an active attitude and searching for solutions, but always being clear of the fact that there are certain things that are out of our control. And this is always going to be true, no matter how much we worry or get anxious.

drawing woman with eyes closed

On the other hand, worrying is dealing with something in advance, hastily. It implies traveling in our mind to the future, which doesn’t yet exist, and putting ourselves in the worst possible scenario, which generates an exaggerated state of anxiety for us. The only thing this manages to do is block off our mind.

Worrying has absolutely no use. Actually, it’s the exact opposite. But dealing with the things that are within our control, accepting the uncertainty of things is a sign of psychological maturity.

“You never know what is going to happen. And it’s precious that we never know it. If it were predictable, it wouldn’t be worth living. If everything was just how you like it, if everything was certain, you wouldn’t be a man, you would be a machine. Certainties and securities only exist for machines.” 

Security doesn’t exist

The world is insecure by nature. This is one of its main characteristics. This doesn’t mean that we are always exposed to dangers or risks. As we have mentioned before, it’s of no use to place yourself in the worst of scenarios.

But you have to keep in mind that the realistic thing is to know that one day you might have something and the next you could lose it, and vice versa. Today you have nothing, and tomorrow luck will smile upon you and that one thing you thought would never appear finally makes an appearance.

We have to deeply accept this insecurity, since acceptance will let us flow through the world, live lightly and limitless but with responsibility. Being clear on the fact that certainties are not real will help us take perspective of our problems, and it serves to help us face situations better and live in peace.

Knowing that the only thing that is for sure is that we find ourselves in an absolute uncertainty relaxes our mind, and consequently makes us stronger people on an emotional level, more rational.

Leaving aside attachments, because we know that nothing belongs to us. Nothing is truly of our possession. Not a partner, or a job, or our own health and not even your children.

If you have it, enjoy it to the fullest, but remain aware that tomorrow that which you enjoy may not exist in your life anymore. And we will be left with no other choice than to accept it in the most joyful way possible. Exaggerated emotion will not help you recover it.

This is why worrying is completely useless. Because whatever has to happen, is going to happen. Whether we worry or not, it doesn’t make a difference. Neither the world, nor life will ever ask us what plans we have for the weekend. Life works that way, and that is our only reality.
“If your problem has a solution, why worry? And if it doesn’t have a solution, why worry?” 
girl blowing dandelion of people

How can we tolerate insecurity?

When insecurity accompanies us, it leaves a bitter taste of lack of control in our mouths, which is hard for us to bear. Up next, we offer you some strategies to start tolerating it.

  • Learn to manage your inner dialogue: What are you telling yourself when you are worried about something? It’s most likely that your inner dialogue tends towards catastrophism and negativity with thoughts like “I need the world to be safe and to have everything under my control, or I won’t be able to handle it”. You should exchange these inner phrases for more realistic ones: “I don’t need to have all of the security, nor must I control everything, because this will never be true regardless of what I do”.
  • Seek risks and carry them out: By risks we are referring to things you would like to do, but don’t do out of fear that they won’t go as planned. Remember that nothing is sure and if you never try it, you’ll never know what could have been. Free yourself from these limiting fears and let what needs to happen happen, whether it be good or bad.
  • Keep an attitude of confrontation: There are some things we can control and some we can’t. Focus on the solutions to the problem, and try to solve it as best you can. But forget about the things that are completely out of your hands. Therefore, you should abandon your worries and not believe that worrying about something will magically help you prevent something, because this is simply not true.