Time Changes Us All

July 28, 2016

Time is united and fused to the experiences we collect throughout our entire life. For that reason, both of these things make us learn, know and change. In fact, we are so tied to time that it seems to be lengthened or shortened depending on our mood and our expectations for life.

Time, as they say, does not pass in vain, and much less if you look back to what we were ten years, five months or three weeks before the present moment. We know that there is nothing more relative than the years. In this sense, we usually measure time in key events that have marked our lives and which we will always remember.

“A man must live in the present and who cares who you were last week if you know who you are today?”

-Paul Auster-

Living means experience and experiences measure time

Any emotion that arises from direct contact with reality implies a change: we travel and meet new role models, find people with thoughts and habits we did not know, raise a family, lose people we thought would be around forever, discover love and heartbreak, etc. All this, without realizing it, will change us.

The truth is that life has different prices and one of them, as we know, is by living experiences and linking them to our lifetime. There will be moments that will leave such a mark on us that we will think they lasted longer than they actually did and others that we will remember to have been very brief. Therefore we say that with time we change.

bird holding the ribbon in a girl's hair

Furthermore, whether we remember more positive or more negative things can often depend on our emotional, mental, or even physical state. Nevertheless, we will not forget true happiness, nor will we forget our biggest failures.

Do not resist change

Clearly, in situations in which we experience emotional extremes we change because they force us to reach deep within ourselves and see ourselves as we have never seen before. At these points we come to know things and values we did not know, experience feelings that we had not had before and we are required to sort out the mess from within.

“When we are not able to change a situation anymore, we are challenged to change ourselves.”

-Victor Frankl-

If we go through a bad time, we will probably get out of it stronger. If we are wrong, we know what we have to do again next time. If we were happy, we will just comply with what makes us feel good and shy away from sadness, etc.

What is certain is that we will never be the same after a new experience or after getting older: time will transform us and will shape our persona.

Resisting change is, in fact, useless. Trying to avoid something that has happened in our lives and thinking that everything continues as it did in the past is useless because the reality is that it is not. As someone once said, everything flows and everything remains. That is, our essence will remain the same, but will not be the same.

The key is to adapt and accept

If we cannot resist change, the only way to grow as people is to accept it. We must adapt ourselves and if, by some chance, we can no longer be true to our principles, we must create new ones to help us start again. It would be beneficial to understand that time passes over us and only we can decide what to do with it and how to use it.

couple hugging while looking at the sea

In the same way that time changes a person, it also changes the people around us and consequently influences the relationships we have in common.

It is essential to understand that accepting self-change is as important as accepting the change of others, provided they do not harm us directly. In these circumstances the other person will also probably require our adjustment.

“Why must changes be feared? All  of life is a change. Why are we afraid of it? “

-George Helbert-

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Image courtesy of Claudia Tremblay and Pascal Campion