The Things We Love Always Remain Close By

November 1, 2016

We are separated by 587 kilometers, 27 days and about 17 cities of pure physical reality but, as Julio Cortazar would say, the things we love always remain close by. And we are closer than ever. We are the best proof that relationships are cultivated slowly, with perseverance and a lot more effort if there is distance involved.

In other words, do you know that feeling of having been separated from your loved ones for a long time and then coming back and feeling that everything had changed except for your relationship with them? That’s what happens to us: we have remained close, though we were physically far away from each other, because we haven’t let ourselves forget each other.

Our home is close to where we are going

For many different reasons, we will often have to part paths from someone we love for a determined amount of time. We are transferred to another city, we have to look for a job elsewhere, there’s family waiting for us in another country, etc.

“I could tell you that anywhere is my home
if you’re the one who opens the door.”
-Elvira Sastre-

couple holding suitcase train station

The biggest worries that you have before parting ways have to do with what will happen to our feelings and those of the people we are leaving behind. Will they forget about me? Will our relationship change? Will we be able to handle this? These are the most common questions we ask ourselves.

However, when we reach our new destination, we realize that the place we called “home” comes with us and keeps surrounding us with warmth. We continue considering it our home because we take it with us wherever we go, in who we are and what we think. It is part of our essence, which is enriched by new people, but which never forgets.

Complicity that is stronger than obstacles

The complicity that has been established before you leave is the cause behind the success of the time you spend separated and the moment of your return. It means that your bonds have overcome the distances. But they need to be strong beforehand, in order to overcome the obstacles distance presents.

The effort is certainly easier to handle if you are truly in love. The things we love always remain close by, because we know what they mean to us and our lives. And we don’t want to lose them for anything in the world.

“I don’t know what it was, but we had something special, and we knew it. You could see it in the way we moved and talked. We didn’t say much, many things were simply understood. And that’s what made everyone else upset, the air of security we expelled.”
-Charles Bukowski-

heart on top of map

When it comes time to reunite, it seems that the world we left behind moved forward without us. The people have continued with their lives, and now it’s up to you to merge into their world again. If the complicity has been maintained, soon you’ll see that the relationships haven’t changed, and that in a short time you’ll connect the dots between what once was and what will be.

Who suffers more: he who waits or he who has never waited for anyone?

Separations brings with them, in greater or lesser measure, varying degrees of suffering, since distancing oneself from others is complicated, even if it’s just for a little while. Goodbyes tend to be difficult for most people, even if they’re temporary.

Nevertheless, the poet Pablo Neruda asks us this question: who suffers more, he who waits or he who has never waited for anyone? In other words, it hurts to feel alone and it hurts not being able to hug the ones who are far away. The remoteness of those near by also hurts, and we’re comforted by the closeness of those who are far.

Regardless of your answer to the question, the most beneficial thing seems to be to learn to enjoy your independence. Those who love us will always be close by and will come back with even more yearning than before. On the other hand, if we aren’t waiting for anyone, cultivating self-love should be our main task.

“Sometimes all you need is 56 seconds of a wireless conversation to cheer up someone who is kilometers away.
And we all have a spare 56 seconds.”
-Carlos Miguel Cortés-