The Key to a Long Life
We tend to understand a single life as an emotional failure, and therefore a disaster. As harsh as it sounds, our society punishes people who are single. We can see this very clearly when we can’t find commercial products dedicated to people who choose to walk the path of life solo.
We found hundreds of dream travel deals for two, gourmet dinners for two, ideal gifts for the couple, etc. However I am still to see a product that promotes the single life.
Being single is often a decision. As crazy as it may seem to many people, not everyone’s goal is to have a partner. In fact, the single life leads to a state of wholeness and freedom which is equally healthy and desirable.
Living without waiting, living the single life
We have no obligation to make ourselves available for a relationship and, according to Emma Morano, understanding this has been the key to a long life. This woman is already the oldest known person in the world, at the grand old age of 116.
When the New York Times asked her about her secret, she answered in a way that left them all stunned: the key to my longevity has been to stay single. After the break-up of an unhappy marriage in 1938, Emma Morano decided that she did not want to be controlled by anyone and that everything she needed could be found inside of her.
This woman formulated her life as she really wanted to and she didn’t tie herself to what society expected of her as an adult woman. However, as gerontologists tell us, there is no real key to a long life. In fact, if you talk to 100 centenarians you will discover 100 different stories. Whether we live more or fewer years is largely determined by our genetic makeup.
The elixir of eternal youth: not lamenting growing old and living as we wish
Happiness and emotional well-being must come from ourselves and from the decisions we make in relation to our emotional life. When you choose to be single you also decide to be brave and tolerant, because you will find yourself faced with a diversity of opinions or beliefs.
As we have mentioned, society punishes single people and limits certain opportunities. For example, if you are not married it is more difficult to be granted credit in a bank. Examples such as these abound and become invisible daggers that send us a clear message: “being single is not good“.
That’s when the single life stops being a state or a personal decision and instead becomes a social issue that labels us and points at us. “Something is not right in you”, “you must get a partner”, “no wonder nobody loves you”.
These subtle “daggers” can hurt us and can even make us want to have a partner who we don’t really love or live our life in a way we do not really want to. The society we live in tries to “tempt the single people” to get a partner and thereby have a “fulfilled” life.
But no, singleness should always be a personal choice that gives us other options that allow us to explore a new world, a different one from the one we are told we should believe in. Ideally, we should all be free to say what our life means to us, and what we want to do with it, without being swayed by the social pressure that tells you that being single is not right. There are people like Emma who decide to be happy in their “singleness” and aren’t looking for or waiting for anyone to “rescue” them from that state. Deciding to be single is not synonymous with “unhealthiness”, but rather with freedom and independence to direct one’s emotional life as we want to. That’s the true key to a long life.