The Silent Deterioration That Makes Us Pretend We're Okay

The Silent Deterioration That Makes Us Pretend We're Okay

Last update: 05 January, 2017

No. Everything in life doesn’t have a solution. We also can’t try to explain everything. Some things have no good explanation. We also can’t pretend to keep a big smile on our faces day in and day out. However, we greatly prefer to pretend that we’re okay over admitting that we are prey to silent deterioration.

But pretending to be happy in order to be accepted is a gross mistake that many of us regularly make. Nevertheless, there are certain stages in which faking well-being simply makes no sense.

So, whether for good or for evil, we have the audacity to not smile when we don’t feel like it. We try to not sin by “trying to make everybody like us”. We do this in order to avoid the emotional wear down and exhaustion that is produced by trying to not worry anyone.

That’s why it is important that we allow ourselves to not be okay all of the time. This way we won’t pressure ourselves to be at ease and live in disgust. Because, indeed, pretending is painful, and sadness and discomfort are not synonymous with weakness.

The emotional exhaustion implied in pretending: strength that is never recovered

Data indicates that eight out of ten people who feel sad pretend to be alright but, unfortunately, we realize this much too late. This translates into a silent deterioration that plunges us into a great emotional exhaustion. Through it we fall into a spiral that absorbs and squeezes our souls.

That is to say, the emotions and feelings that are supposed to do us good, end up waning thanks to our inability to let them take over and experience them as we should.

Thus, as a result of this, we end up feeling tired of life and devoured by our constant attempts to calm the voice of discomfort. Therefore, the key is in accepting ourselves in all of our aspects and not insisting in deceiving our own conscience.

This perspective will help us in the struggle against ailments such as depression, anxiety, chronic fatigue, desperation or hopelessness, insomnia, excessive irritability, etc.


The key to resilience is acceptance

The biggest lesson of our lives is the one we achieve when we strive to get to know, accept and love ourselves. We can’t love ourselves without acceptance. Nor can we accept ourselves without knowing ourselves first.

To achieve this step of emotional growth, we have to unlearn precisely what we’ve talked about in this article. Only then can we manage to free ourselves of the beliefs and manipulations that we are subjected to year after year, day after day, minute by minute.

Thus, in order to look at life free of anesthesia and pressure, you must get on a different hill. Only this can help you manage other perspectives. So every day, when you wake up, you have to pay close attention to what glasses you’re going to put on.


To not distort reality, it’s best to put on clear glasses, which sharpen our vision both near and far away. This simply means leaving behind certain prejudice and beliefs. The ones that distort your views and make you speak to yourself in harsh tones.

Because the importance of your inner dialogue is something we forget much too often. Due to all of this, it is essential that we remain silent within ourselves. We must realize that the only way we can achieve well-being is to respect ourselves. We must stop pretending, with or without discomfort.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.