People Who Lack Empathy

People Who Lack Empathy

Last update: 12 September, 2020

Some people are lights in our lives, while others darken our path and make it difficult to travel. In the same way, there are people who would do unimaginable things to help us and others who wouldn’t move a finger if our life depended on it. The latter lack empathy.

There are relationships that enrich our path and others that don’t. Have you ever noticed that there are people who just can’t understand that you make mistakes? Have you talked to people who don’t take your thoughts and feelings into account? These people lack empathy. They’re not interested in putting themselves in another person’s shoes.

Empathy is the ability to understand another person’s reality while thinking about or being aware of their feelings. There are people who don’t have this quality. In this article, we explain what these people are like and what disorders are related with the inability to empathize. We also talk about how you can relate to people who lack empathy.

The less empathetic you are, the less friends you’ll have. Put yourself in other person’s shoes to help yourself grow as a person and allow your relationships to flourish. 

Things that people who aren’t empathetic don’t do

People who don’t care about others don’t have the ability or interest to understand or perceive how another person feels. There are cases of disinterested people who lack empathy. Here are some of the things they usually don’t do:

  • Worry about you. They don’t pay attention to you, maybe because they’re too focused on themselves or because they just don’t care about what happens to you.
  • They aren’t sensitive. Even if you tell them how you’re thinking and feeling, they don’t show interest in perceiving and understanding what you’re going through.
  • They don’t trust others. By not perceiving what we think and feel, those lacking empathy don’t feel safe with others.
  • It’s hard for them to believe in others’ feelings. People who are disinterested in others’ well-being doubt their emotions. Therefore, they’re cold when others talk to them about how they’re feeling.
  • They aren’t compassionateThese people don’t feel compelled to relieve other people’s pain or suffering.
A woman lacking empathy.

With these characteristics in mind, it may be easier for you to see which people in your environment aren’t empathetic. Keep in mind that there are nuances. There are people who lack empathy and people who have too much of it.

Selfish people who lack empathy

People lacking empathy don’t put themselves in another person’s shoes. Therefore, they disregard others’ feelings, thoughts, and desires. One of the most outstanding characteristics in people who lack empathy is their selfishness.

People who lack empathy can be very selfish. They think about their own well-being first without thinking about others’ needs. Also, they take advantage of situations and people for their own benefit.

In addition, they push the boundaries of reciprocity. This means they only give if they get something in return. They don’t do things disinterestedly. They relate to us in almost a standoffish way, making manipulation a way of life.

Therefore, those lacking empathy can be cold. When we experience an unpleasant situation with them, we’ll end up feeling misunderstood or that they don’t care about us. This is because they’re only concerned about their own well-being. These people are unfriendly and have a difficult time connecting with others.

Disorders associated with people who lack empathy

We can all be devoid of empathy sometimes. However, there are people who carry this characteristic around on a daily, permanent basis. Some psychological disorders are closely related to a lack of empathy. Here are three of them:

  • Narcissistic personality disorder. These people are self-centered and only care about themselves. In addition, they leave others behind. The lack of empathy in this personality disorder has to do with the fact that they can’t see beyond themselves.
  • Psychopathy. This disorder is related to the inability to adapt to social norms. It’s difficult for people with this disorder to connect with others.
  • Borderline personality disorder. People with this disorder usually have emotional instability, which makes it difficult for them to maintain stable relationships. It’s hard for them to understand and predict how others are feeling.

When you make an effort to explain to these people how their actions hurt you, they usually don’t understand your explanation and will even try and make you feel guilty. They may try and turn it back on you, telling you that you were the one who behaved badly. Be careful. A person who lacks empathy can inflict a lot of pain on those who are very empathetic

An upset woman.

How to deal with people who lack empathy

Some people who lack empathy not only have a hard time understanding us, but they manipulate us to get what they want. Here are some ideas on how to deal with these people:

  • Set boundaries. You decide how far these people can go with you. Don’t let them take advantage of you.
  • Choose your friends wisely. If you feel that the people in your life don’t make you a priority, leave them behind.
  • Be assertive. Communicate what you want to say in the best way possible. This way, they’ll know exactly what you feel.
  • Get away if you don’t feel an emotional connection with this person.

However, extremes don’t lead us anywhere. Sometimes we can make the mistake of only seeing our interests. This doesn’t mean that we’re not empathetic. In addition, the important thing is to choose the people we spend our time with wisely. We need to be careful.

People who lack empathy are truly disinterested in others. They’re not able to put themselves in another person’s shoes to understand how they think and feel. Also, they don’t see beyond their world so they stay wrapped up in themselves.

Flee from people who twist your thoughts to make you feel guilty. They’re just trying to take you into their world to get what they want from you. These people are controlling and cold. They have a hard time expressing how they feel and they won’t understand the situations you’re going through.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.