How to Overcome Your Fear of Solitude

· October 15, 2016

The famous writer and philosopher Elsa Punset believes that “solitude can now be considered an epidemic of the  21st century.” Have we really come to convert the fear of being alone into a serious and all too widespread condition?

Now, the question is, is there a solution? Is the fear of being alone a serious problem? We must not forget that solitude, according to clinical studies, also affects human health.

Solitude, or more specifically, the solitude that is accompanied by a feeling of abandonment, causes weakness in the immune system. It also makes our blood pressure rise. This, in turn, favors the increase of the hormones associated with stress. The physical consequences of solitude can include obesity, drug addiction, and difficult sleeping.

Can you really stop being afraid of being alone? Does solitude have a cure? Is being in a bad relationship better than not having anyone at all? Is it normal for someone to feel abandoned even when they are currently in a relationship?


Solitude in our modern world

According to the philosopher Elsa Punset, there is a set of factors in the world nowadays that makes many people feel a constant disconnection with their surroundings. Even despite the fact that they are surrounded by other people.

woman-alone-on-a-bench-by-a-lake

The average number of close intimate friends per person has fallen in the last couple of years. It has reduced, going from 3 to 1, or none. This is despite the proliferation of social networks and the enormous number of “friends” or contacts that you may have on Facebook or Twitter.

Obviously, an intimate friend is a confidant, someone to tell your secrets, fears and worries to. The lack of this person, especially in people 30 years or over, is important.

Can you overcome the fear of being alone?

Now, a question comes to mind. Can you really overcome the fear of being alone? Of course you can. However, it is not an easy process, and it requires a lot of effort. At times you may need the help of a professional, especially if you feel chronic loneliness.

Here are a set of tips to get you started on overcoming your fear of being alone.

  • Consider yourself the most important person in your life. You come first. That’s why you have to trust in your potential. Have confidence in your decisions. This strategy will help you fight against those moments of solitude when they creep into your life.
  • Be rational. The fear of being alone can turn into something irrational. Identify what is behind your fear. Seek  a logical explanation that your mind can accept and understand. You’ll likely realize it’s something you can overcome.
  • Forget the past. Another good strategy is forgiveness. Remaining in a place of hatred, rancor, memories or abandonment will bring only pain. You must move forward with optimism and good health.
woman-behind-a-foggy-window

  • Many people identify happiness with being in a relationship. This is a mistake. Having a partner or being in the company of other people is not synonymous with joy. There are some people who are lone wolves despite being surrounded by people. You must understand that solitude is something positive. It is never worse that an empty and insubstantial relationship.
  • Know that you are special. We are all marvelous, because the mind is a marvelous thing. Value yourself and know how valuable you are, without needing the company of anyone. This is an indispensable step to losing the fear of being alone.

Being afraid of solitude is truly an irrational fear. High self-esteem, personal fulfillment, confidence and security in your own skills are key factors to overcoming all kinds of problems. Thus, it is in our hands as individuals to overcome the terrible modern day epidemic that is the fear of solitude.