My Attitude Is What Defines Me

· May 7, 2016

It does not matter how many college degrees one has, what one’s job is, or where one lives. The way in which we as humans relate to one another is what defines us. Therefore, the attitudes that we hold with the people who need us, the people who love us, and even the people we don’t necessarily get along with, are what really matter.

Kindness, altruism, and solidarity are easy words to say, but having them describe our behavior is more complicated. If our behavior can reflect these words, that will be what defines our personality and because of them, we will be remembered.

What is attitude? 

Basically, attitude is the way in which we focus on the different situations with which we are confronted. One might say attitude consists of the habits that characterize us. For example, when we enter a store, we are friendly and greet the salespeople. Or, upon seeing a person in need, we don’t hesitate to help them. Through actions like these, various attitudes are demonstrated: kindness, politeness, generosity, and altruism. 

This last word is often used in the corporate world, or in intimate relationships. However, we don’t realize that attitude is applicable to everything we do and everything that happens to us. That is attitude! Attitude can be heard when someone confronts an obstacle, when they get up after falling down, or in making slow progress in the goals they have set for themselves.

post-it faces defines

Attitude is nothing without the actions in which it is manifested. Undoubtedly, our attitude is what defines us. It is manifested in our actions. In turn, our actions define us as people, friends, partners, colleagues, and citizens.

Attitude: born or made? 

It is easy to think that attitude is inherent. This, of course, is assuming that our intention is to do good and the necessary resources and aptitudes are within reach. However, it is not that simple.


There are many different factors that play a part and have an influence in the formation of our disposition towards life. For example, both the messages we receive from society regarding what is good and bad, and the accumulation of our individual life experiences, contribute a great deal to our attitude.

Why is this? Because our attitudes are very sensitive to the reinforcement they receive. In childhood, if the adults we look up to offer greetings every time they go into a place, we will most likely carry out the same behavior in similar situations. We observe and acquire these behaviors easily and almost subconsciously.

The value of our actions 

Each time you do or say something, you are communicating something about yourself with the people around you. This can have both positive and negative consequences. In this sense, what is in our head is not what defines us. Other people cannot access our thoughts. Therefore, what really counts are actions and the words that go with them.

Thinking and/or saying “I will help this person” but not actually helping them is not useful to anyone. By continuing on in this way, we are lying to both ourselves and the other person. The image projected through this kind of behavior is of a person who cannot be trusted, a person whose words are only a source of uncertainty. If this becomes a pattern, nobody, not even ourselves, will place their faith and trust in us.

This concept does not only apply our relationships with other people, but also our relationship with ourselves. Our attitude shapes and affects that which defines us in our own eyes, as well, like our dreams, ideas, and goals. Even if we have the greatest dreams in the world, they serve for nothing if we do not even try to carry them out in reality.

Words are fleeting, attitudes remain 

We have probably all heard the phrase “words are blown away with the wind” before. Being all talk and no action is also a way in which we condemn ourselves to giving a false impression. Remember, actions are not forgotten.

It is essential to emit all of the true authenticity we have inside, to remain true to our values, and to not make promises that we cannot keep.

hands holding hands defines

Are you convincing and do your actions align with your words? Do you say out loud all the things you want or do you hold some back? Reflect on your way of being and acting with others. Try to put yourself in their shoes. 

Attitude is what defines us and makes us different 

No, it is not your clothes, your hair, nor the way you walk that defines you. What really sets you apart from other people is your attitude. Your attitude defines you when you are confronted with obstacles, with achievements, with victories, and defeats. We are used to things that are mass produced, and we can forget about those small, authentic, unique, and irreplaceable things we make ourselves.

Try to be like that item in the store that is the most valuable because of its unique design and thoughtful construction. To avoid being a face in the crowd and “identical to everyone else”, you must be responsible, accountable, proactive, positive, and able to process your emotions. Never forget to follow through on your promises and to think before speaking and acting. Analyze your actions to improve the impression you make on others. Consider what really defines you, in both your eyes and the eyes of other people.

“The meaning of things is not found in those very things, but rather in our attitude towards them.” 

-Antoine de Saint-Exupéry-