You Miss Me, But I Don’t Care: I Left for a Reason

· December 31, 2017

You miss me, but I left for a reason and I can’t let it matter to me anymore. When I shut that door, I left behind a story of unequal love. A partnership that was never appreciated. An endless masquerade that stopped being fun when I had to try to be happy while picking up my broken pieces.

Pieces of your mask fell on me when I tried to remove it without destroying it — because I believed that behind your ego there was someone who was hurting. Every time I tried, I got dirtier. It made me remember all of the promises made and broken.

I know you miss me, but I left because I felt it had been over for a long time. It was a false love that met only your demands. It was a game I always lost because I never got a chance to even play, though I still considered it “ours.”

I shut the door not to hurt you. I shut that door because sometimes you have to stand up and stop being a prop in a play you never even understood. Yes — I closed that door and now I can’t let it matter to me that you miss me.

 

The false illusions of breaking up

There are hopes and wishful thinking hidden behind slamming the door. It betrays a desire that the other person will “open their eyes” and finally miss what they took for granted.

When we do this, we’re sabotaging our self-esteem and our self-love. We give 100% of ourselves, and we put up with their doubts and indecisiveness.


Then we feel victorious when they recognize after the breakup that they need us. But we don’t realize that getting them to admit that they miss us isn’t the real victory. The real victory is shutting the door for good when you were giving everything and getting nothing.

On the other hand, it’s no victory to resume a story of endless second chances and constantly hoping they’ll change. Shutting a door for good isn’t cold. It’s about self-respect.

a rope breaking in half

We postpone our inner peace for their sake, as if we didn’t deserve it all on our own. Until one day we realize that we’ve been consumed from the inside out, and a “sorry” that comes too late does not change anything.

Saying yes to an “I miss you, come back” without change is like saying yes to the Russian Roulette of relationships.

Love never means abandoning your dignity

Love does not give us dignity, though it may give us wings. It comes hidden in the little things that make our daily life special.

two ships with feather sails: don't miss me

Free, peaceful love, where each person keeps their independence, is different than “love” where there’s just exploitation and emotional isolation. That is not free love, it’s an obligation.

So when you shut a door, think about what brought you there. Don’t miss the past; you made this decision for a reason. Don’t try to rewrite a story that was never good in the first place.

If they really do miss you, they should’ve done something about it a long time ago. The time for you is now.