Love Yourself to Love Others

Love Yourself to Love Others

Last update: 29 March, 2022

Jealousy, fear, accusations, anger, complexes…how far can it go before love becomes contaminated? We wait for a certain kind of love, hoping to find one that will give us what we need. But in truth, this longing for a love that can save us from ourselves is misguided.

And so arrive the shadows, the seven plagues, a thousand evils, sadness, tiredness, and disappointment. And then absolute desolation which keeps us from moving on and causes us to lose ourselves.

reading a book

We’re not born prisoners; we imprison ourselves

The sad reality is that we fertilize our emotional land to cultivate unhealthy love, the kind that obstructs and destructs. We don’t remove the weeds from our paths, and this has consequences.

We can’t rid ourselves of sadness and heartbreak if we don’t change our behavior. It’s better to not cover our eyes; when something goes bad you simply know. You can sense it in the air.

Freedom is not a lack of love, and attachment is not love

We all understand relationships and love in different ways. Wanting to be a free spirit is not the same as renouncing love. In the same way, there are relationships that are toxic and painful, despite how much we love the other person.

There are many stories of love being lost out of pride, forgetfulness, or neglect. But today we’re talking about those relationships that have been poisoned by the black widow of love: emotional submission.

girl on swing

For this reason, when love turns into a “can’t live with you, can’t live without you” kind of situation, it’s time to either abandon it or reassess it. In other words, in every relationship, it’s necessary to put one’s own emotional health before anything else.

You might think that you need that person, or that they contribute a lot to your life, but there are times when you must remove the blindfold and come to understand that they are disturbing your emotions.

This is true, we can’t love ourselves until we stop needing the other person. The need to love and understand ourselves arises when someone or something fails us, because only then will we see our own shortcomings.

People always think that the most painful thing would be to lose a loved one. But the truth is that losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, forgetting who you are, is much worse.

When we have pride and love ourselves, sparks fly. That is, self-love occurs in the mind, not the heart.

heart of birds

We only feel sad and empty when we let go of things that are harmful to us because we long for what could have been but wasn’t, what we wanted to be but couldn’t.

If you let that sadness in without fear, it will ultimately bring you to liberation and independence – a life without resistance, jealousy, resentment, or blame.

So, if we’re on board the boat of contaminated love, the best thing to do is look for something inside ourselves that helps us float. Because we don’t live our lives with or without anyone but ourselves.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.