Love Is Never Wasted

· November 10, 2015

Love is never lost or forgotten, it is kept in our heart. And it is always there, even if we are not thinking about it, even if we cover our eyes to it, even if that love no longer has any relevancy in our lives or memory.

In this sense, love never ceases to exist and have a meaning. However, sometimes, when love isn’t requited in the way we need it can be frustrating and heartbreaking.

It is undeniable that giving a lot while receiving very little is tiring. The trick is to not expect anything from anyone but yourself. What happens will happen, but not always in the form that we expect or want.

My mother used to say that love is never wasted, even if they do not return it to you the same extent you deserve or want. 

‘Let it flow out,’ she said. ‘Open your heart and don’t be afraid of being crushed. Broken hearts heal, protected hearts just turn into stone.’

-Penelope Stokes (Heartbreak Cafe)-


This clashes violently with the concept that love is the total and absolute surrender to another. We find it hard to understand, but it is necessary that we leave this concept behind and discard the idea of love we see in Disney movies that “Everything I do is for you and if you leave my side my life will have no meaning.”

There are romantic relationships that are doomed to fail from the start because of the total absence of reciprocity and gratitude. This is natural, because the only way to keep love going strong is to water it every day.

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We need to asks ourselves whether we are expecting our partner to be, act, and give love in just the same way we do. If that’s the case, we are destroying our relationship and hurting ourselves. Each person is the way they are and give love in different ways.

In any case, a breakup caused by emotional dependency brings an opportunity to work on eliminating that neediness and cultivating ourselves. Broken hearts can be put back together and turn into ones with the ability to love without asking for something in return.

Love is never lost, it transforms

Well, not just any love, but love for yourself, which additionally teaches you to see others with respect and compassion. So, if you want love, give love. Giving it is the best way to receive it – not necessarily from others, but from yourself.

Giving your own feelings the green light is incredibly important because it makes you feel good, able to love and be loved. In other words, opening your heart and giving way to your feelings prevents you from turning into stone. We all know that stones do not feel or suffer, and heat or cold make no difference to them. We are not stones; we are walking, feeling, thinking hearts.

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Self-love is always within reach

Loving yourself is the only way you’ll be able to give offer love to others. In principle, if you have a partner, you will enjoy your relationship much more if you want it rather than need it.

This is complicated and at first can lead to a lot of internal conflict, as our society confuses romance with emotional dependency. However, getting rid of these preconceived ideas will help you revive or cultivate love for yourself and others. 

“To love, one must take on inner work that is only made possible by solitude”
-Alejandro Jodorowsky-