Why Do We Like Going After Toxic People?

December 30, 2018

When we leave our self-esteem in the hands of people who enjoy controlling us and exerting their power over us, we may end up feeling like we want it back. Honestly, this is a clear representation of a lack of self-respect. Our self-image shouldn’t be affected by what others think of us. As a matter of fact, we shouldn’t accept any kind of conditioned “love” that’s riddled with rejection and mistreatment. We go after toxic people when we don’t love and respect ourselves.

True love is nothing other than the inevitable desire to help others and show our authenticity. Going after toxic people means drifting from who we really are in order to find someone else. Basically, we forget who we are to a certain extent and only consider others.

“Respond intelligently even to unintelligent treatment.”

-Lao Tzu-

When we’re in a relationship and we realize that our significant other doesn’t mind hurting us, we realize that they don’t care about us as much as we’d like them to. This happens because love blinds us. We reach a point where we’re unable to tell that we’re in a relationship with a toxic person, with someone who loves taking advantage of us for their own benefit.

Woman crying because toxic people hurt her.

You don’t have to go after toxic people

When there’s true love, caring for our partner is something that comes from the heart. Now, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t care if it’s not reciprocal because reciprocity is important. If we notice that our partner hurts us all the time, there’s no other thing to do but to put a stop to this.

If your significant other treats you badly all the time, you need to ask yourself if that person is actually good for you. Why be with someone who doesn’t make you feel good? Answer this question as sincerely as possible since it’ll help you realize if you really want to be with them forever.

“Don’t associate yourself with toxic people. It’s better to be alone and love yourself than surrounded by people that make you hate yourself.”

-Robin Williams-

Saying goodbye to someone we love may be hurtful even when they’re not good for us. This is normal. It’s okay to have mixed emotions and feel pain when you realize that you’ll never kiss your partner again. However, that last kiss may be saving you from other bittersweet ones. After all, removing toxic people from your life is the way to happiness.

Toxic people are difficult to deal with, they play with our minds, and immerse us in a pool of self-doubt. When our partner hurts us continuously, we may end up feeling like we don’t even know ourselves anymore. Being mistreated becomes the norm, which is something we should never let happen. We’re the only ones who can put a stop to our emotional pain. Don’t forget that love begins with self-love.

Brokenhearted girl.

Obsession, fear of being alone, hope, or devotion?

Keep in mind that relationships end all the time. It may be difficult at first, but the only way to overcome your pain is by accepting the fact that it’s over. Otherwise, it’ll be almost impossible for you to manage the situation appropriately and your pain will turn into obsession, fear, hope, or devotion.

Some psychologists have claimed that heartbreak can be more painful than grief. According to this theory, grief ends with acceptance. However, when one party can’t seem to accept the breakup, their pain can be perpetuated to the point that it never heals.

Obsessions, excessive fear of being alone, and devotion show that you worship the other person and don’t love yourself.