Kids With Low Self-Esteem

· August 28, 2018

Do you think we’re born with a certain level of self-esteem? Do you think that loving yourself is important in day to day life? Is it possible to influence your children’s self-confidence? In this article, we’re going to give you the answers to all these questions and also talk about kids with low self-esteem.

Self-esteem is the key to each of those puzzles. It’s what we use to build our identity. That’s why it’s so vital for people to start working on it at a young age. Making kids aware of the importance of their self-worth is an essential part of their upbringing. It’s the best way for them to build themselves solid foundations that will hold them up at the most critical moments, instead of making them unstable.

There are a lot of things you might do without realizing it that don’t actually increase your children’s self-esteem but instead undermine it bit by bit. Here are some of the most common ones:

  • Congratulating or rewarding your children for things that don’t depend on them. We’re talking about things like being tall or being handsome. That will stop them from developing skills or feeling proud of their work and what they do. As a result, they’ll have low self-esteem.
  • Not letting your kids take on responsibilities. This happens when you do everything for them and never let them try to get better. It happens when you don’t teach them to be aware of their internal world or the consequences of their decisions and actions.
  • Not showing them affectionUnconditional love strengthens children. If they feel loved and comfortable, they’ll develop a good self-esteem. They’ll grow up knowing that whether they do well in life or not, there will always be someone there to love and protect them.
  • Not letting them express themselves. If you don’t let yourself express what’s inside you, then you can’t really know yourself. That means you also won’t be able to create a positive image of yourself. So when you don’t let kids express themselves and air out their emotions and opinions, they’ll develop a low self-esteem.
Sad boy with low self-esteem laying down.

As you can see, it’s fundamental to raise your child consciously, from a place of love and respect. To do this, it’s always best to have clear, sincere communication. That’s how you raise kids with healthy self-esteem. But you also have to know exactly what self-esteem is. We’re going to explain just that right now.


What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is the way you look at yourself. It’s a measure of how much you value yourself. It’s a process that starts from your infancy and fluctuates throughout your development. Basically, self-esteem is the act of valuing yourself, loving yourself, and knowing how to prioritize yourself. It’s self-love.

Having good self-esteem means looking in the mirror and loving the person you see there. It helps you create a stable foundation that you can build your whole life around. But when your self-esteem isn’t good, your life can’t be good either.

Kids with low self-esteem never learned to love themselves. They never learned to value themselves and don’t make an effort if they fail at something the first time because they don’t know how to work with long-term goals. They won’t be able to learn to love another person because they don’t even know how to love themselves. 

Kids with low self-esteem will become suffering adults if they can’t solve this problem. It always leads to discomfort, dependence, and self-hatred. They’re basically unprepared for the world because they never developed unconditional love for themselves. It’s like they’re invisible to themselves.

Self-esteem helps you grow with a feeling of love and security. It helps you build a positive image of yourself, one you’ll project onto all your relationships. It’s your greatest treasure, and you have to take care of it and always work on it. You have to dedicate time to it and coddle it because a strong, well-developed self-esteem helps you grow calmly throughout life.

Kids with low self-esteem grow up with no self-confidence, no self-value, and no sense of security.

Can kids boost their self-esteem?

Like we said earlier, self-esteem building is a process that starts from a very early age. The words you speak to your kids when they’re young play a part in their development. So you have to always be conscious of the importance of the language you use and everything you’re projecting onto them. Kids use outside reference points to build up a sense of their own identity. Their first ones are always the adults who are with them during their early years.

Sad boy with low self-esteem hugging his brother.

But is what they learn during their childhood unchangeable? Luckily, no. Ideally, everyone would grow up in an environment with a secure attachment. In other words, an environment with unconditional love, the ability to explore, and a feeling of protection. Kids who don’t have those things and grow up with low self-esteem. Thus, they’ll have to reconstruct their self-image at some point down the line.

What that means is that they’ll have to face up to challenges again and see if they’ve learned to fail. They’ll have to recognize that they’re important and that they’re much more than their actions. That’s not what defines them. What defines them is everything they are as a person. They’ll have to realize that they need to put in the work to value themselves. Self-love takes patience, and they’ll make some mistakes, so they have to learn that they can always try again. 

As you’ve seen, self-esteem makes you who you are. If it’s firm and stable, it will allow you to develop every other part of yourself. This is why building true self-confidence is one of the most important things you can ever do in life.