I've Learned Not to Give My Heart to Those Who Only Want My Skin

Over time we end up realizing that we don’t make love with the body but rather with the soul. That true pleasure comes from the kind of passion where our beings travel beyond the skin to engrave themselves in two wide open minds, stripped naked by affection, certainties and feelings, that dance in silence as one.

Experts say that the skin is the most important sexual organ in the human being. People need touch to survive, and sometimes one stroke is enough to activate thousands of sensorial receptors, capable of weaving together an emotion or a sensation. However, in authentic love, the symphony of sensations in our skin isn’t always enough. We want more.

The best love stories don’t tend to appear in books. They are written on our skin with invisible ink, imperceptible to the rest of the world but revealed to us. Because they are tattooed by the tips of those wise fingers that traced the form of our body between the shadows, that awakened our soul to mold it to theirs and so give authentic meaning to life.

We invite you to reflect on this.

Look for me under my skin

It’s not easy to find someone to collapse like this with: in emotions, in values, in sensations and in mutual understanding. They are like drunken nights of the senses where suddenly everything fits together, everything comes into harmony and no holes are left to fill. The soul gets excited and the heart awakens from its usual winter lethargy, just when we thought that we wouldn’t be loved again. 

Because the time always comes when we get fed up of cowardly loves, those that don’t take risks, those that move on like storms at the end of summer. After the passion and the promises woven in nights of affection, comes the calm, the bright morning, where there’s no space for lies and there’s only an absence on the other side of the pillow. Together with the ashes of all the broken dreams mixed with tears.

Finally, effectively, we learn. We pick up our broken pieces with a lot of self love and we put them back together again with the best of dignity. Repeating to ourselves the mantra of “they’ll never hurt us again”. We learn that the best lover is the one with the audacity to look for us beyond the skin and even to get emotionally naked with us.

The authentic chemistry of love

The authentic chemistry of love exists and is found right in the middle of our head, almost like a third eye. It is the pituitary gland, which secretes a magical and tremendously powerful hormone in humans: oxytocin.

We can all have a sexual encounter at a given moment, where our mind is a torrent of sensations and neurotransmitters orchestrating our most pure and pleasureful instincts. However, when sexuality is enjoyed fully and authentically, that’s when oxytocin appears.

Oxytocin is the hormone that switches on the need to care for, look after and protect the other person. It feeds us with affection and a wiser passion oriented towards creating a permanent link where all our fears and uncertainties are switched off. In fact, there are many studies that show that orgasms are much more intense when this magic formula appears.

On the other hand, something that we all know is that there are couples that over time stop being couples and become just lovers. They no longer find shared spaces in their lives despite living under the same roof. The dreams and excitement have gone, but under the sheets, and almost without knowing why, they still speak the same fantastic language. It’s as if this magical component only works at specific moments.

These situations are nothing more than the waiting room for the goodbye, basically because a glimmer of the attachment generated by the oxytocin still remains, but it goes out little by little like the embers of a hearth that used to warm the home.

Without a doubt, sexuality has its own exclusive language that it is essential to understand. Above all because not everyone seeks the same things. Some people prefer the skin-to-skin encounter, where nothing goes beyond the moment, where there are no signed agreements on the horizon. Without a doubt these are aspects that should be made clear from the beginning so that there’s no room for disappointment.

Many experts also say that today we are experiencing a sort of capitalism of the erotic and of relationships, where everything is sold and everything is fragile at the same time. Toys are sold and new experiences are recommended. Without forgetting that there are more and more dating websites where it would seem that it is easier than ever to find a partner.

However, none of this seems to offer authentic happiness. They are just little injections of dopamine, single-use puffs of happiness, so after a short while, the lonely heart falls back into the ocean of waiting – and hoping. In the waiting room where we long for those hands that will finally be able to touch our skin and tickle our soul…