How to Introduce Your Children to Your New Partner

December 18, 2018
Introducing your children to your new partner doesn't have to be stressful. Discover how to manage this important situation in this article!

Couples are more fluid than ever these days. High divorce rates, coupled with new family situations, put us in circumstances we don’t always know how to deal with. One example is having to introduce our children to a new partner.

What should be a source of joy for all family members can become a stressful event. Not knowing how your children will react can make you postpone the first meeting for a long time. It might even make you feel anxious. In this article, we share some key points on how to introduce your children to your new partner.

Introducing your children to your new partner: Steps to follow

Such a delicate situation as introducing your children to your new partner has to be handled right. Thus, you need a good plan. Adding a new person to your children’s lives has to be a gradual process. This is especially true if your last separation is still pretty recent.

Telling your children about your new partner may not be easy.

1. Choose the person you’re going to introduce them to carefully

In the first stages of a relationship, it’s easy to get a little too excited about your new partner. This can lead you to believe that what you have is a permanent relationship. You might even idealize them. However, this distorted perception tends to disappear after some time.

Thus, if you’re just starting out with your new partner, the best thing to do is wait a while before introducing them to your children. One good rule of thumb is to wait 6 to 9 months.

2. Explain what’s happening to your children

Once you’ve decided that the relationship is serious, it’s time to tell your children about it. It might be a little early to introduce them to your partner directly, but you can always keep them updated on the important things going on in your life.

Since small children have never experienced being in a romantic relationship, they might have trouble understanding why you’d want to go out with someone new at first. That’s why it’s normal for them to feel a certain sense of rejection at the idea that you have a new partner.

Even so, your children will end up accepting that you’re going out with someone new after some time. Once they do, you should introduce them to your new partner. Your new partner should be on board with it, too.

3. Talk with your new partner

If it took some effort for your children to accept that you’re going out with something new, the best thing you can do before having everyone meet is to warn your new partner. You should explain that your children might give them a hard time.

It’s important for your partner to understand that they shouldn’t take the rejection personal. They should know that this is their way of reacting to their new situation. In order to facilitate understanding, your partner should try to empathize with them.

Tell your new partner that your children might be resistant before introducing them.

4. Plan the first meeting

The most critical point when it comes to introducing your children to your new partner is the first meeting. If you’ve spoken to both sides beforehand, it should go smoothly. However, it might still be challenging.

Your mission during this first meeting is to act as a mediator between the two parties. You should be ready to resolve any possible conflicts that could arise. Assertiveness can become one of your most useful tools.

5. Integrate your new partner into your life

Once your new partner and your children have met, the last step is to slowly plan out more and more outings together. That way, a friendly relationship can arise between them. This last step is especially important if you want your new partner to eventually move in with you. It’s also important if you want to take a step forward in your relationship.

As you can see, when a new partner comes into your life and you want to introduce them to your children, it’s important to lay good foundations. This way, you’ll be able to build healthy relationships and avoid any possible conflicts.