Intelligent Ears to Foolish Words
Hurtful words, judgments, unfounded opinions, malicious criticism, etc. Each of them are foolish words that need intelligent ears which will not give them credit or pay them any attention.
As they say, “what John says about Peter says more about John than about Peter“. So before giving importance to those “tips”, “reviews” or “criticisms” that do not bring us kindness, usefulness or truth, we must consider the intentions of the person saying them.
A smart ear to the critics
There is no better sign of emotional poverty than continued and malicious criticism. Constantly dealing with foolish words usually generates a lot of emotional exhaustion.
So, to protect and nurture the intelligence of our ears, it should be clear that:
- We do not need anyone’s opinion to live.
- Emotions and feelings are always valid and we should not be ashamed of them.
- You have to lose the fear of feeling and thinking about yourself.
- Avoid giving credit to those categorical phrases (the nevers and the always, for example).
- Listening to criticism and gossip constantly can saturate us and make us feel very bad.
- We cannot forget that everyone must be respected. Leading by good example helps us ensure our emotional well-being.
- Remember that the groundless criticisms are made by people with great emotional poverty. These people live isolated in their resentment and try to convince us to be emotionally selfish and distance ourselves as well.
People at peace with themselves do not speak ill of others
Another step to form a protective shield and give us intelligent ears is learning to identify those phrases that are apparently innocent but hide bad intentions.
Such sentences are clearly toxic in certain contexts:
- When you are talking about a hobby or common skill: “I wish I had time for that” usually equates to “You do not have as much work as I do“, “Free time is impossible for me, I’m not a slacker.“
- “It’s obvious,” “As everyone knows“. No no and no. Not everyone knows nor is it obvious. The use of this type of plea tries to make the other person feel ignorant and the one stating it to feel superior.
- “You have no right to say anything because you do not know these issues the way I do.” They cannot take away our right to speak or discredit us by invalidating our arguments with phrases like “your arguments are stupid and have no foundation.“
- “If my teacher says it, then it is true.” These types of fallacies take advantage of the respect that an expert has to give weight to certain arguments.
- “You make me feel horrible“. Appealing to feelings and making others accountable for them is another way to manipulate. Those expressions also try to excite people instead of offering valid arguments.
- “Go where you want, but I’m not going there.” To finish this sentence, it would be appropriate to add: “And you should feel guilty about me not going because you are selfish and you only think about yourselves.” We’re making ourselves clear, right?
We must devote time to improve ourselves and create some smart ears for ourselves. It will help us maintain a healthy attitude towards life and build our relationships on good communication and a better understanding.
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