How to Tell If You’re in the Right Relationship

· October 24, 2015

Have you ever asked yourself if you were in the right relationship? Have you ever wondered, “Are other people experiencing this same situation? Is this a normal part of daily life in a relationship?”

Most of us know that maintaining a relationship is not easy, but we rarely actually question whether or not we are in the right relationship. It’s a difficult question, but there are some signs that can help us judge whether or not we are in the right relationship. These signs can help us determine whether we can continue growing together with our current partner.

Every relationship is unique. The secret to living and growing with the person you love is to learn and understand, respect and manage your differences while conserving equality between you. All of this converts into strength in the relationship.

1. The relationship is based on security not fear.  

The Achilles heel in any type of relationship for humans is fear. Fear is a sign of insecurity in a relationship and may mean that we are in a relationship that will not work out. If we are in the correct relationship, we should not feel any kind of fear that comes from the other person. Instead, you should be feeling things opposite of fear, such as security, joy, and permanence.

When you are in the wrong relationship it is quite the opposite: insecurity and fear invade us. If you find yourself in a relationship where you constantly doubt your partner, your own commitment to them, or your worth as an individual, you are probably in a broken relationship or at least need a number of profound changes from both of you.


Couple kissing

2. You share genuine trust.

This is a key pillar of a good relationship: trust. The feeling that is generated when two people that love each other have complete trust is indescribable. This should exist between the two people before your relationship even begins, because to enjoy a mutual experience full of trust it is vital to develop that trust before committing to your partner.

But if you find yourself in a situation where you are constantly hiding your cellphone and messages from your partner’s view, or you just simply feel any kind of distrust, it is very rare that the relationship will move forward in a positive way.

3. You make sacrifices for each other. 

We are not talking about any extreme sacrifice, but of small everyday sacrifices like compromising on plans to make sure both of your needs are satisfied.

Love is knowing how to share and give the best of yourself for the wellbeing of another. If you think that this does not exist in your relationship, you probably are not with the right person.

4. You have your own identity.

We have explored in other articles how easily emotional dependence can develop in romantic relationships. This is another sign that you are in the wrong relationship. Sharing your life and your heart with someone does not mean that you have to lose your uniqueness or identity. For a healthy relationship, you should be your own person within it.

In a strong relationship both partners maintain their individuality and respect each other, without letting either lose their essence. Each person should be allowed to keep their hobbies and interact with their friends and family without any feelings of guilt. If you both respect your differences as people, you are in the right relationship.

5. Even confrontations are positive.

In good relationships, fights, however impassioned, always preserve an essential ingredient: mutual respect. If your confrontations remain respectful, the end result will always be positive and provide a solution for both individuals.

But if there are dramatic, negative, toxic arguments in your relationship, you should really reflect on whether or not it is worth it. If intense feelings frequently overcome reason and concern for the other person, you may be in the wrong relationship.