How to Show Your Love for Someone
There are many types of love. For instance, there’s brotherly love, maternal love, love for a partner, love toward friends, and self-love. Likewise, there are also many ways of loving and showing love. We all show love in the way we feel it, or as we understand it.
However, do we really know how to show love? Is it something that comes naturally or can it be worked on? Are there universal ways of showing love? As a matter of fact, although we all have our own ways of showing love and affection, there are some general actions that can help you show your love. You can find out about them here.
How to show your love for someone
Love is expressed with the body as well as with words and gestures. There are no correct or incorrect ways to do it. It just needs to be done with respect and sincerity toward the one you love. Here are some examples of how you can show love.
1. Express it
One of the first steps in showing love is simply expressing it in whichever way you feel. How you do it isn’t so important, it’s just the fact that you do it. You can do it verbally, in a letter, with gestures, looks, smiles… the list goes on.
A study published in the journal Motivation and Emotion (2009), suggests that a great smile can attract a happy person and, therefore, lead to a more lasting and satisfying relationship.
The important thing, when expressing your feelings, is to do it in an honest way. Nevertheless, some of us are better at expressing our feelings than others.
You must respect your own rhythms and the way you feel. Above all, you must always do it in your own way.
“Emotions are lived, felt, recognized, but only part of them can be expressed in words or concepts.”
2. Feel free
Along the same lines as the previous point, you should feel free to express your feelings in any situation. After all, it wouldn’t make sense to only express your feelings in certain chosen contexts.
The important thing is to be aware that you must express your love naturally and freely, without any external (or internal) pressure.
“The ability to express one’s feelings is a fundamental social skill.”
3. Show you care about them
Showing love isn’t only limited to expressing your feelings. It also involves caring about the feelings of others. This includes their well-being.
Make sure you convey to the person you love that you’re there for them and are interested in their well-being and happiness.
4. Use physical contact
Physical contact is really comforting and is another way of showing your love. According to a study conducted by the University of North Carolina (2001), the levels of oxytocin (the hormone related to love and happiness) increase with physical contact, such as caresses, kisses, and hugs.
Catherine A. Connors is a holistic therapist specializing in stress management. She claims that physical contact, by increasing oxytocin levels, helps reduce stress and anxiety. This, in turn, would reduce the risk of heart disease. So showing your love can be healthy!
5. Practice active listening
Actively listening to the one you love, taking an interest in their concerns and problems, as well as their wishes or needs, is another way of showing your love.
After all, when you love and care about someone, you want to know how they are, what fears they have, how they feel, etc. Moreover, active listening is a way of showing affection and respect toward them.
“Active listening is the ability to listen not only to the person, but also to their feelings, ideas or thoughts.”
6. Show empathy
Empathy has multiple definitions. However, broadly speaking, it’s the ability to understand the emotional life of another person. In other words, to put yourself in their place and feel what they feel (or an approximation of it). Through empathy, you can better connect with people, understand them, and support them. It’s also another way of showing your love for them.
Did you know that empathy has a genetic component? This is suggested in a study conducted by researchers from French and English universities, led by Varun Warrier and published in the journal Translational Psychiatry. According to their research, women are more empathic than men.
“Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”
7. Give them a gift
In the consumerist society we live in today, gifts seem to have lost their meaning. However, there are certain gifts that express a great deal of love and affection because they’re made by the person themselves or they’ve made a great deal of effort in choosing it. In addition, gifts allow you to show the other person that you’ve been thinking of them and that you know what they like.
8. Do something helpful
Show them that you love them by doing something for them. Cooking, cleaning, fixing things, or taking care of the heaviest tasks are all acts that you can do with a smile on your face, without expecting a favor in return.
9. Support them in difficult times
It can be difficult to bring up something that might be worrying them, but doing so will help show them that you care about what’s going on and are there for them. Remember, you must be supportive, not preachy. Sometimes, you just need to give them the space to vent their feelings. You may not even need to offer any advice.
10. Celebrate what makes them unique
We all want to feel accepted and appreciated, especially by the people we love. You should celebrate the little quirks that make the one you love special. By doing this, you create a safe space for them to fully be themselves.
11. Take time
It’s always a good idea to express what you feel and show affection to those you love. However, one of the greatest ways of showing your love for someone is simply by spending time with them.
If circumstances prevent you from seeing them often, take a moment to call them and show interest in how they are. After all, time is a limited commodity, and dedicating it to someone (quality time) is another undeniable way of showing love.
In fact, there are multiple ways to show love. Here we’ve only focused on some of them. As you’ve seen, you can show love through words, gestures, and spending time with those you love. This applies to any type of love.
Love toward your children, parents, partner, and friends. Even love toward yourself! Indeed, it’s extremely important to cultivate self-love. Because without it, you can’t give love to others. So make sure you treat yourself well.
“Self-love is the only love that lasts a lifetime.”
All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.
- Algoe, S. B., Haidt, J., & Gable, S. L. (2008). Beyond reciprocity: gratitude and relationships in everyday life. Emotion, 8(3), 425-429. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2692821/
- Balconi, M., Fronda, G., & Vanutelli, M. E. (2019). A gift for gratitude and cooperative behavior: brain and cognitive effects. Social cognitive and affective neuroscience, 14(12), 1317-1327. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7137728/
- Doohan, E. A. M., & Manusov, V. (2004). The communication of compliments in romantic relationships: An investigation of relational satisfaction and sex differences and similarities in compliment behavior. Western Journal of Communication (includes Communication Reports), 68(2), 170-194. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/10570310409374795
- Eckstein, M., Mamaev, I., Ditzen, B., & Sailer, U. (2020). Calming effects of touch in human, animal, and robotic interaction—scientific state-of-the-art and technical advances. Frontiers in psychiatry, 11, 1-17. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7672023/
- Fromm, E. (2014). El arte de amar. Grupo planeta.
- Gritti, M. J. B. (2013). La empatía: La clave para conectar con los demás. Observatorio de recursos humanos y relaciones laborales, (79), 86-87. https://dialnet.unirioja.es/servlet/articulo?codigo=7750849
- Hardee, J. T. (2003). An overview of empathy. The Permanente Journal, 7(4), 51-54. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5571783/
- Heart Matters. (s.f.). 10 tips for active listening. Consultado el 9 de junio de 2023. https://www.bhf.org.uk/informationsupport/heart-matters-magazine/wellbeing/how-to-talk-about-health-problems/active-listening
- Llamas, D. (2023). Cuidarme bien quererte mejor. Grijalbo.
- Niiya, Y. (2016). Does a favor request increase liking toward the requester? The Journal of social psychology, 156(2), 211-221. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26392141/
- Ozbay, F., Johnson, D. C., Dimoulas, E., Morgan Iii, C. A., Charney, D., & Southwick, S. (2007). Social support and resilience to stress: from neurobiology to clinical practice. Psychiatry (Edgmont), 4(5), 35-40. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2921311/
- Paolacci, G., Straeter, L. M., & De Hooge, I. E. (2015). Give me your self: Gifts are liked more when they match the giver’s characteristics. Journal of Consumer Psychology, 25(3), 487-494. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1057740815000108