How to Make Someone Fall in Love With You

Beyond physical appearance, when it comes to making someone fall in love with you, your ability to have deep and interesting conversations is important. We explore what else is essential.

Written and verified by the psychologist Valeria Sabater.

Last update: 10 June, 2023

There are many factors and variables that can make someone fall in love with you. Don’t think for a moment that the secret only lies in attractiveness, putting on the most beautiful dress in the world, and looking dazzling. In fact, scientific professionals and experts in seduction and falling in love claim that there are more powerful keys to making someone fall in love with you.

Indeed, according to science, there are certain elements that serve to attract and dazzle us and should always be present. These dimensions that awaken feelings of love toward you in others, should always be present in you, so you can feed the passion and daily affection in your relationships.

You need to know how to integrate these dimensions (if you don’t already have them) into your psychological repertoire if you want to make someone fall in love with you. You should make these resources your best defenses in life.

How to make someone fall in love with you (according to science)

Be yourself. You’ve probably been given this advice many times. Although it’s clear that nothing is as recommendable as acting as you are and not making a play out of seduction, it’s always a good idea for you to integrate other virtues and resources when it comes to seduction.

These are certain dimensions that you can learn that actually make you more attractive. Let’s take a look at these things that can make someone fall in love with you, according to science.

1. A good sense of humor makes you irresistible

Can there be anything better than making someone you like laugh? Of course not. Because this is how the best connections are created. It’s how your positive emotions are ignited. It’s a complicity that stays in your heart and also demonstrates your intelligence. It’s no coincidence.

As a matter of fact, a study conducted by the anthropologist, Gil Greengross, of the University of New Mexico, claims that a sense of humor can be decisive in sexual selection. It seems we tend to choose those with a good sense of humor because we associate this virtue with intelligence. When it comes to having children, we make sure that our offspring also have that competence. In fact, apparently, when it comes to choosing a partner or sexual partner, nothing is left to chance.

2. Show your vulnerability

Vulnerability is important when it comes to making someone fall in love with you.

Some people, when they’re trying to make someone fall in love with them, don’t hesitate to show off their positive and almost ‘heroic’ kinds of qualities. However, while this may look good on the big cinematic screen, it doesn’t really work in the field of love. Instead, demonstrating your vulnerability shows the other person that you’re human and helps you establish closeness and intimacy with them. Dr. Elaine N. Aron from New York University (and author of numerous books and papers on high sensitivity) explains this in a research paper.

3. Give them clues that you think they’re attractive

Shyness isn’t a good companion when it comes to making someone fall in love with you. But, be careful because it’s not good to be too forward either. You must find an intermediate point. You want to show them that you like them but without being too open. This requires grace and finesse. You need verbal and, more importantly, non-verbal language. The kind where your smile speaks volumes, and your eyes say it all.

These gestures, glances, and words must form a symphony that makes the other person realize you’re attracted to them.

4. The art of good conversation (the deeper the better)

You and your prospective partner aren’t going to solve the mystery of the Big Bang or the riddle of the Sphinx of Giza. However, deep and interesting conversations can be anchors for attraction and ways of seducing the other person’s neurons. After all, if you can ‘switch on’ their brain, it’ll give you an advantage. You need to captivate their mind to activate their heart.

Therefore, having good conversations can help someone to fall in love with you. Indeed, there’s nothing like a chat that lasts for hours for creating intimacy.

5. The way you make them feel is important

Do you remember the last time you felt excited, connected to the present moment, and happy? Were you with someone at that moment? Few things can be as satisfying as feelings of connection, well-being, and absolute harmony in someone else’s company. In love, they’re key. Because falling in love isn’t only about physical attraction. You fall in love with how the other person makes you feel.

Relationship experts claim that there’s nothing as transcendent as creating positive and profound experiences with a partner. You soon discover that the rest of your interactions, such as with work colleagues, don’t give you those same feelings of complicity and absolute affinity.

Moreover, experiencing intense moments with another person can create strong emotional alliances. For instance, if you know what their hobbies or tastes are, share those passions with them. It’ll help you make a significant connection.

6. Your personality

Your physical appearance is your letter of introduction, but your personality is the direct invitation for someone to fall in love with you. Who you are, what defines you, your values and beliefs, the way you treat others, the way you react to things, your experience, and your emotional skills are what turn on (or not) the engine of attraction.

A study conducted by the University of Göttingen (Germany), provides data on the relationship between personality and attraction. Of course, some personalities are more captivating. Factors such as openness, sense of humor, trust, friendliness, sympathy, and the ability to communicate are dimensions that are always inviting and attractive to others.

7. Be a good friend

While you might be yearning and dreaming about that certain someone falling in love with you, it’s often not a good idea to be in a hurry. In fact, slow-burning love is often really fruitful, especially if it starts with a good friendship. Bear in mind that the happiest and longest-lasting couples are those who are good life partners, who have fun together, and who know how to reach agreements.

In essence, seduction is fine, but focus on being a good support to them, someone they can trust. Passion and desire are important, but they’re pretty ephemeral. Along similar lines, a study published in the journal, Praxis & Saber, indicates that friendship and emotional intimacy are necessary for young people to build relationships.

8. Demonstrate a secure attachment

Attachment defines your way of bonding with others. Some people do it from a position of security, emotional maturity, and self-confidence. Others carry it out from a place of insecurity, fear, or emotional coldness. It’s important to work on your own personal area to achieve more satisfying relationships if you want to make someone fall in love with you.

Finally, everyone has their own secrets when it comes to making someone fall in love with them. You carry these strategies around with you. But, don’t forget that seduction is also an art. You can learn how to make it your own. It’ll give you temperance, security, and the kind of attractiveness that transcends your skin.

Use your intuition and learn from your experiences but also don’t hesitate to train yourself in this field. Finally, there are many books and good resources that’ll help you learn a great deal about the complex but fascinating universe of love.