40 Topics of Conversation to Talk to Your Partner About
Conversation is always a key element in a romantic relationship. In fact, many breakups are a consequence of a breakdown in communication. This is sometimes because it’s lost and sometimes because it’s misinterpreted. In fact, the truth is that not everyone has the facility to speak out and express themselves.
If you usually run out of ideas to talk to your partner about or want to know more about them, here are 40 conversation topics. Make a note of them and adapt them if necessary to make them more appropriate to you.
40 topics of conversation to talk to your partner about
These subjects are suitable for both casual relationships as well as more serious ones. We hope they’ll help you achieve a greater connection between the two of you.
1. Their passions
One of the best ways to get to know your partner better is through the things that they’re passionate about. Ask them about the things that interest them most and how much they mean to them. Talk about your passions as well. You’ll probably find you’ll be able to plan certain activities around some of them.
2. Their dream job
We all have a dream job, one that we’d like to do regardless of how much it paid us. Ask your partner about theirs and find out how close they’ve got to it with their current position.
3. What they least enjoy doing
Just as you should know their passions and dreams, you should also know those things that they least enjoy doing. It all helps you fill in what you know about them. You might even get a few surprises along the way.
4. Their deepest fears
Your fears make you who you are. However, you can usually overcome them when you have someone by your side. Don’t hesitate to let your partner know this. Just listening and understanding them can often prove to be a really important help.
5. Their short, medium, and long term goals
The goals you achieve in your life are made on the basis of certain plans. It’s important to also know those of your partner. Then, you can compare them with your own. That’s based on the assumption that it’s a serious relationship. Remember, every stable relationship has life goals in common.
6. Their most embarrassing moments
Not all topics to talk about with your partner should be serious, you should also leave aside some time for laughter. Although they probably didn’t laugh at the time in their most embarrassing moments you can laugh about them now, together.
7. What’s their idea of a perfect day
Then, you can try and replicate it. You might even find that their idea of a perfect day is really similar to yours.
8. What’s the house of their dreams like?
Furthermore, who would they like to share it with?
9. Their doubts and insecurities
There’s nothing better than talking about doubts and insecurities with your partner. Because not only do they get support to beat them, but they get a different perspective on them. This should be a mutual activity, so don’t be afraid to start with your own insecurities in order to break the ice.
10. Their happiest childhood moments
Obviously, they’ll have lots of them but you should focus on the most memorable, the ones they treasure. This is one of the topics that rewinds the movie of their life and lets you learn more about them.
11. Their thoughts on religion
Religion is a contentious topic no matter in what context it’s spoken about. However, it’s something that every couple should talk about. Whether your beliefs align with theirs or not, chatting about them creates an environment of peace and tolerance, even if you have different opinions.
12. Looking back to the past
For example, your first meeting, your flirtations, first date, and any doubts they had at the time about going out with you. This can reignite the flame of romance if you find you’ve both lost your way a little in the relationship.
13. Joint interests
Sometimes, the only thing that makes the difference between a successful relationship and a failed one is the things you both have in common. Ask them and find out how many interests you share. Do it as a game, so it doesn’t turn into a boring interview.
14. What they’ve learned from past relationships
This is one of the topics to talk about with your partner that’ll help you discover how seriously they take their relationships and what they’ve learned from them. After all, the lessons we take from past relationships are key to determining success in any future one.
For example, how they get along with their parents, what they think they should improve in their family environment, and what they dislike about it. After all, your partner’s family is extremely important to your relationship, even though it’s something that may tend to get forgotten about.
16. The most important aspects for a stable relationship
For example, trust, respect, loyalty, communication… There’s no recipe for a perfect relationship, but you can talk about the ingredients you both agree are essential to achieve a healthy relationship. Toxic partners, for example, typically don’t apply any of the above criteria.
17. Their worst habit
The one they keep hidden from everyone. It might not be embarrassing. Perhaps it’s sleeping too much, eating too much junk food, or using their cell phone a lot. As long as they’re willing, you can help them overcome it or replace it with a more productive one.
18. How they see the relationship in one, two, or five years
This is one of the topics that you should be careful with. For example, it may be too soon in your relationship to bring up, especially if you don’t know their intentions yet. On the other hand, if you think it’s time, go ahead and ask them.
19. People with the most influence in their life
By knowing who the people were who made a mark on their life you might well find something you didn’t even know about their character, tastes, and even feelings.
20. Sexual fantasies
This is one of the most extensive subjects. Sex is one of the important parts of your relationship. In fact, it can make the difference between a temporary and a permanent one. Exploring each other’s fantasies means you’ll know what to do when you’re next in bed together.
21. What if…
With this game, you can talk for hours and hours with your partner, either in person or online. For example: What if there was a zombie apocalypse tomorrow? What would happen if you won the lottery? What if you hadn’t met me? The options are almost endless.
22. Things they just couldn’t stand in their life
Try and present this topic in a surprising way, and you’ll probably get some impromptu answers. That’ll make the conversation fun, so don’t worry if the answers change multiple times as they think.
23. Their most precious memory
This time not from childhood though. The most precious memory of their life in general. It may be a moment that they can partially relive or one that’ll never return. Either way, it’s something that everyone should know about their partner.
24. What do they value most in a relationship?
A key topic that’ll also help you discover their strengths. For some, it’s understanding, for others support. Of course, it doesn’t have to be just one thing. In fact, it can be a starting point for many.
25. What would make their life successful
Money? Happiness? Health? Dream job? There are hundreds of possible answers, so you have hundreds of topics at the same time. You can also assess whether their criteria fit with yours.
26. What kinds of situations make them anxious?
Asking this means you’ll get to know their phobias or any contexts where their anxiety can get out of control. Based on their responses, you can do your best to avoid any of these situations or work on them together to manage them.
27. The possibility of having children
Naturally, this isn’t a subject to be introduced lightly. However, for some people, it’ll be the most important aspect of their relationship. If you think you certainly have a future together, feel free to include this topic in the conversation so at least you’ll know what the possibilities are.
28. What would they like to do when they retire?
It may be a long time away or it may not. In any case, it’s a good idea to talk about it. It certainly means you can have your eyes fixed on the future together.
29. The quality they most value
Most of the above ideas revolve around them and not you. However, now you’ll do the opposite and guide the conversation towards all the qualities that they consider most valuable or attractive about you. Then, you can do the same.
30. What do they think can be improved in your relationship?
This is an important topic. Relationships can only be improved when the aspects that damage it are identified. Furthermore, that both parties are willing to work on it.
No relationship is ever perfect, so there’ll always be something that can be fine-tuned for the good of both of you.
31. Their ideas on jealousy
To a certain extent, jealousy is healthy in a relationship. However, it’s important to draw the line between healthy and destabilizing jealousy. Having a conversation about what they think of jealousy, how jealous they consider themselves to be, and how damaging they think it can be to a relationship isn’t only a useful topic for a chat, it’s also really positive for you both.
32. What would they like to do more often?
Although it’s paradoxical, many of the things you enjoy doing the most are the things you do the least. If you know all of your partner’s favorite activities, you can start to actively include them in your relationship.
33. What you should know about what to do when they’re stressed or angry
Sometimes, you don’t know how to act when your partner’s going through bad times, especially when they’re stressed or angry. If you ask them openly what helps them when they’re feeling this way, you’ll have a plan of action to follow when they occur.
34. What makes them proud?
The things that are part of their life and that they’ve achieved with hard work or effort.
35. Plans you can make together
If you feel that you can’t think of any more ideas to share with your partner, you could talk about activities you can do together. More than just a conversation, this is a search for mutual interests and new experiences. For example, new places in the city to discover, or interesting trips to take.
36. The importance of money
Knowing what your partner thinks about money will help you see their aspirations and future goals through a different lens. You’ll also avoid the need for this discussion at a later date.
37. How do they see their current situation?
For instance, are they feeling happy, and as if they’re living their best life? Their answers will act as the starting point for what you can do in the short and medium term to maybe make any necessary improvements in your relationship.
38. Their beliefs about marriage
This certainly shouldn’t be one of the first topics you discuss with your partner. Nevertheless, it’s one you should include if marriage is important to you or you think it is to them.
39. Their favorite foods
You probably already know many of them, but there might be some you don’t know about. Talking about culinary tastes is a great help if you’re planning on cooking dinner or going out to eat.
40. The most precious memory they have of you both
The last in our list concerns their fondest memories of you both. As with some of the other ideas above, it may well reignite that flame of a flagging relationship.
We’re sure that you’ll find some of these conversation topics to talk to your partner about are useful. Make sure you take advantage of them so you can strengthen the communication between you.It might interest you...
All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.
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- Hurtarte C y Díaz R. Comunicación y satisfacción: Analizando la interacción de pareja. Psicología Iberoamericana [Internet]. 2008 [consultado 26 abr 2022]; 16(1): 23-27. Disponible en: https://psicologiaiberoamericana.ibero.mx/index.php/psicologia/article/view/294/543