How to Heal from Heartbreak

September 4, 2016

Her soul hurts. It hurts deeply. She feels that though she has felt many people on the battlefield of love, what she felt for that person, she had never felt before and might never feel again.

Now he has gone. He says that he has met a new love that has turned his life upside down. He feels that now, she is no more than a friend, a sister, but that he doesn’t feel anything more than this. While he explains this to her, she thinks that she is dying a little inside. Heartbreak.

She asks herself over and over again when this pain will pass, while she keeps crying silently every single night, when no one is watching. During the day she does thousands of things and tries to fool herself into thinking that she has forgotten him. But when night arrives, she feels lonely once more, and empty. And she plays that sad song once more, the one that seems to be written for her. 

“The first kiss isn’t the hardest. It is the last one…”
-Paul Géraldy-

Be patient, because heartbreak does heal 

As this wonderful song says, we want to forget them, but we don’t know how. It is not that simple to make all of the memories disappear, and especially the feelings.

No matter how hard we try, no matter how hard we try to venture into new loves, to do a thousand things in a day, to keep away from the places where we spent time together and which we remember with nostalgia and tears in our eyes… Forgetting is a complicated task when love invades you completely.

When night arrives and we are alone with ourselves, when the workday has ended, the daily tasks have been completed, that feeling of love comes back, and we can feel it intensely.

“There is no love at peace. It is always accompanied by agony, ecstasies, intense joys and deep sadness.” 
-Paulo Coelho-

But heartbreak, as well as love, is an experience that we will all live through at some point in our lives and this very fact should make us happy, because we have been lucky enough to know love, to experience it and learn what it is.

So, although it hurts, heartbreak also has a positive side. It is the product of that intense, beautiful and precious thing that we lived once upon a time. And that is truly something that no one and nothing can take away from us.

sad woman alone

How can we recover from heartbreak?

  • Talk about it and surround yourself with loved ones. The people who love us and who are by our side through the toughest times in our lives can help pull us out of this sadness by talking about it with us. Laughing with us and helping us put things into perspective. Don’t lock yourself away in your thoughts.
  • Keep in mind that the time you spent together was full of happiness. Life is unpredictable and we have to get used to what a certain poem says: “Everything passes and everything stays, but our duty is to pass.” 
  • Enjoy your singleness. Society imposes on us that happiness will always and can only be found next to someone else, but this doesn’t have to be necessarily true. The important thing is for us to be happy. And you can be happy by yourself, or in someone else’s company…seek your own happiness.
  • Take your time. Cry, scream…but then move forward. You are a complete person on your own. Stop looking for your “better half.” You don’t need anyone else.
  • Don’t spend time with that person. Your wounds have to heal. It’s not good for you to spend time with the person that still awakens those feelings within you. Have fun, meet new people, flirt with them… “There are other fish in the sea.”
  • Don’t plan your revenge. What is that ugly and gray feeling even good for? It serves no purpose other than to harm yourself. Although things may have gone sour in the end of the relationship, forgive that person from within and let them go without holding grudges, without any thought of revenge.

Recognize that love and heartbreak are a part of life, and that bad moments will also happen. No matter how gray the sky seems now, the sun will shine again. Learn from that relationship and keep growing.